Merry Christmas, have some friction burns on your ass

You guys ever do Annie? Wait that sounds weird. Let me start again.

Crossfit names some of it's tougher workouts using girls names, like they do hurricanes. It's a good practice because you feel like you get hit by a hurricane afterwards.

"Annie" is the name for the double-unders/sit-ups workout. Reps go something like this: 50, 40, 30, 20, 10.

Pretty simple except you realize that after 50 double-unders your core is toast.

I know this because despite my lack of abs I can do sit-ups. But after the first round of DU's I did the first five sit-ups and said "WTF, I have to do 45 more of these?"

It got to the point where the DU's were the easy part. In fact I actually did consistent DU's for the first time. I'm talking about 15 to 20 reps. Derek was my witness and even he was psyched and yelled, "YEAH ROD!!!!"

(On a side note it's always great when you have an actual witness at RFM that sees you doing something you haven't been able to do before. Like the old saying goes, if you praise yourself you're bragging, if someone else does it for you it's a compliment.)

But yeah, thanks D. He even held my feet so I could crank out the final two sets of sit-ups at the end.

I was tore up in more ways than one afterwards. Not only did my abs hurt for days but I had two lines of friction burns on my behind, one for each cheek. Must have come from the sit-ups. I talked to Val and a couple of other members and they had the same gifts from Annie. Thanks a lot Annie. You and your boyfriend Beelzebump rock.

So after that I wasn't able to make it back  to the gym until December 24, which was a Saturday, because I had to go get my son in California. I don't usually go to Saturday workouts but I figured I'd be busy with my son and should take advantage of the fact that he was sleeping off the jet lag from the day before.

So Bump comes out with this workout called the "12 Days of Christmas" and it went something like this:

- One 100 meter run
- Two push presses
- Three pull-ups
- Four lunges
- Five sit-ups
- Six push-ups
- Seven squats
- Eight kettle-bell swings
- Nine toes to bar
- Ten box jumps
- Eleven wall balls
- Twelve burpee star-jumps

I'm looking at it and thinking, "Hmmm . . . looks okay until you hit 9, 10, 11, 12 but should be okay otherwise." Maybe Bump was taking it easy on us because it was Christmas.

Then that bastard explained that we would have to do the workout for the entire length of the song. You know how they start over again each time? So it went like this: Run. Then run and do push presses. Then run and do push-presses and then pull-ups. Then run, push press, pull-ups and add lunges and so on and so forth.

Sweet baby Jesus. So much for the easy holiday schedule. I was right though. I didn't start completely bogging until we hit the toes to bar. That completely sucked.

Scratch that. The burpee star-jumps sucked but by then I was on my last round.

Whoooooooo-boy.

On another note, is anyone going to the Lahaina Crossfit Winter Strength Challenge? How does this work? Do you enter all the events or just the ones you want to? I want to try, just not squats or anything. Or deadlift. I went to their website http://www.lahainacrossfit.com/ but didn't see a list of events or how it works. Ah, I'll figure it out later.

Finally, does anyone need a slot in the 10:30 a.m. Warrior Dash registration http://warriordash.com/register2012_hawaii.php?

My friend Eric is coming to Maui but mixed up his dates and thought he would be here for the Warrior Dash and signed up for it. Anyone who wants to go and hasn't registered can probably pay him for his fee and take his place. If I don't hear from anyone in a week I'll tell him to go ahead and get a refund if he can.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnndddd, for those of you who went to the RFM Christmas party you may have caught a glimpse of Sole Claus, a friend of mine who MC'd the limbo contest. (By the way thank you Val for  having your daughter and her boyfriend enter the contest, they were very entertaining.)

Sole was visiting for Christmas and wanted to say a few words on my blog so here he is:

"Eh, is dis ting woking? Ok! How is you guys at da RFM doing? Thanks to you for letting me MC yoa Christmas pah-tee, I was very impressed at yoa abilities fo going unda da white pipe. Ova hea you guys call dat "limbo", at home we just call dat ducking undaneat someting. I neva undastand why you just neva go around dat PVC pipe but it's okay, I no judge anybodee. So long as you haff a good time dat's all dat mattas. You guys had some funnie peoples though. Dere was dat girl dat neva like put down her Primo beer da whole time, I tought she was gonna hit her da kines on da pipe cause she only drink all night but she did pretty good. Den dere was my sole cousin Tehau she do da robot in da semifinals. Dat was very impressive but not as impressive as dat small girl with the big kine . . . flexibility . . .dat when bend all da way backwards. Good ting my cousin is a good sport, oddawise she woulda push all yoa cars out into da street and make all kine pileup. But I tole her, 'Tehau you no kona get ankree like you do at da bar.' I was very proud of her because she control her ankreeness."

Hookay I like to wish everybodee Happy New Year and please no be like my cousin Tefe dat wen blow up his fingers making homekine exposions. Just buy dat stuffs from the store and you light 'em up safely from yoa car while you driving. Dat way you trow it at peoples and drive away at da same time. CHEEEHOOO!!!"

Thanks Sole. Also let's give a shout out to Jordan "JHo" Holland, owner of Xplore Crossfit in Seattle, WA.http://www.xplorecrossfit.com  Ran into the guy on the plane home from picking up my son and told him about Raw Fitness Maui. Come check us out!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everybody!!!!

Rod

Sleeping as I write this

These past couple of workouts I haven't been blogging. Mostly because as soon as I get home I crash out.

I know, every workout at RFM is hard. But I think the holidays have left me more out of shape than usual.

On Monday we squatted, and I even took it down a notch. I based all of my lifts off of 225 so that it was lighter for me. Made a world of difference. For the first time I actually felt good squatting. That and I went barefoot. It all helped.

Then afterwards we did 3 power cleans, 6 push ups and 9 squats, AMRAP for three minutes then rest for one minute. Repeat for three rounds. My back was pretty stiff afterwards.

Today a lot of us were still stiff. But we had to get unstiff quickly as we were running 10 rounds of 40 meter dashes today.

I was lined up with Kats but he pulled something on our second run. After that I ran with Patty and the new guy Dave. I couldn't keep up with Dave and I barely pulled out in front of Patty. That girl is fast AND strong. I dub her Tehau Jr. or Mofotaru. I think I like Mofotaru.

After that I knew I was in trouble. Five rounds of 12 pull ups and 12 burpees. Oh Lord.

Bump was talking about scaling and I was listening. Either cut down on the reps or cut down on the rounds. I went  for rounds.

I did okay on the pull ups but those burpees, I had nothing left. My legs were lead once again. I was amazed that even on the 5th round Tito was still jumping pretty high. The rest of us were trying to jump over credit cards.

I was able to pay attention to Tito because I stopped at the fourth round. No legs. Legs were shot.

Now I regret it. I have Crossfit remorse, another phrase to go along with Crossfit amnesia.

Right now though my body doesn't feel like I held back on that last round. It feels like it took a beating.

Whoopie, can't wait for Wednesday. Bring it on Beelzebump, bring it on.

Zzzzzzz....

Stupid Stupid Stupid People

So we get to the gym today and we're warming up and I notice a couple of police cars on the other end of the parking lot. Then a third one drives by and we're all thinking, what the heck is going on?

We couldn't see what was happening but we figured it wasn't our business so we went on with the workout. Turns out one of our female gym members had a whack experience.

She said a family followed her into the parking lot and claimed that she cut them off and blocked her car in and told her to step out side. Meanwhile they're pounding on the windows and everything. She's freaked out and calls the cops.

All of this takes place a little more than half a football field away. After the cops and the suspect vehicles left she came over and started working out with us. It wasn't until later that she told us what happened.

First off, I have to say I've been cut off and have cut people off. Most of the time by accident. Yeah you get mad but usually sane people honk their horn and go about their business.

What the hell drives you to follow them into a parking lot and block in her car with your car, then have your wife or girlfriend get out and start pounding on the window and demanding a fight? That's beyond ghetto.

What that tells me is that group of people are just angry at life itself and were presented with an situation where they felt justified to take it all out on a stranger. C'mon people, learn to be human beings and get on with it.

It made me wonder though, what would have happened if we DID recognize her car and went over? I predict we would have tried to make peace then threatened to call the cops (which she was already doing while locked in her car anyway).

Would they have taken a swing at us? Who knows. I loves my Maui peeps but sometimes you've just got to leave high school behind. And I swear the women are worse than the guys. They're just ready to throw down on any given occasion.

Sheesh. Anyway . . .

Bump's got us on a new strength workout, on Monday we did five sets of five of deadlifts that just got heavier and heavier. I myself had to lift 200, 220, 255, 280 and 310. I felt like I was speed powerlifting. (With perfect technique of course).

And we have this new guy Bruce who I've known since I was a kid. He's a granddad and still strong as hell. He told me he hasn't lifted deadlifts in seven years but then on his last set he's supposed to only do 280 and he tells me, "Rod try put on 300, I just try 'em once."

Well Bruce cranked out all five of those reps. I was like, this is week one, you might want to not go balls to the wall just yet.

But what the hell, Bruce inspired me. You can tell he's got the Crossfit bug already. He's excited to get really good really fast and that's the kind of guy you want in the gym.

 Then today we did five minutes of as many pull ups as we can do for strength. I manged to crank out 36 dead hang pull ups. Tough.

For the WOD we did 15 handstand pushups, 15 dumb bell hang power cleans and then ran the 400. You repeat that same sequence except the reps drop to 12 and 9 respectively. I cranked out the handstand pushups, did reasonably well at the power cleans and was dismal at the run. Yeah I know, not only do I hate cardio but it hates me back. I need to figure out a different way to run I think.

Alright gang, time for bed. Adios.

Rod

Really?

So I hear I'm being punished for my posts by people NOT POSTING responses purposely.

This hits me hard, as I am a Leo and live off of attention. Yes, I am an egomaniac.

HOWEVER . . . this means I get to say whatever I want without fear of retaliation.

You have been warned. Some verbal ass whupping will begin shortly.

I've been forewarned

I got this ominous email message today from my good buddy Kehau:

"Call Bumper out and don't show face at RFM? You wussy.

You better come Friday. A mob will be waiting."

It's good to be loved.

Yes, I did compare Bump to the devil. I know he's looking for me but I had to meet with my reporters who write for the University of Hawaii Maui College student newspaper. It's online only but this is as good a place as any to plug the website. www.uhmauinews.com 

What's that you say? Why thank you, I'm proud of our student reporters as well. Boy, sure would be great if the Maui News did a little feature article about Maui College starting up the student newspaper again. I know right? It would be perfect for the Sunday paper. If only I knew someone who wrote for the paper. Better yet, someone who writes specifically for the features section and could lend their skills toward crafting a fine story about these young but hungry news hounds. 

I'm sure she, I mean whoever that reporter is, would receive accolades from her, I mean their co-workers and peers. The crowds would cheer, champagne would fall from the heavens, doors would open, velvet ropes would part.

But I digress. 

Anyway, speaking about writing, I finally checked out Crossfit One World. I was struck by the blogger's writing style. Pretty good. I liked the examples that he listed as far as why someone would benefit from Crossfit training: A first responder may need a short burst of speed and power or the ability to run a medium to long distance without being completely wiped out afterward. A parent should be able to pick up their child, whether in play or in an emergency. An athlete may need to lift something heavy for a short period of time, or lift something light for a long period of time. 

Also he had a pretty good motto for his gym and said that his program best prepares you to "Train Not To Suck At Life."

I think I'm going to have to start following this guy, he's got some writing chops.