When the Lunatics Run the Asylum

FYI, just in case you didn't know, RFM owners Robert and Kristi are off-island. Bump needs some surgery because he tweaked his arm somehow. I knew that but I forgot.

Which is probably why when I walked into the noon workout today I was kinda confused.

No Kristi, no Bump. Just me, Al, Bruce, Garrett, Shauna and Dom. 

At first I thought Kristi was just late, but then I realized, how did we get the gym open then?

It wasn't until I changed my clothes and had my shoes on that it dawned on me.

We were unsupervised.

What's the big deal right? It's not like we're all kids that were going to break the equipment or burn down the gym. Hell, Bruce, Al and Garrett are all older than me and I'm 40.

But . . . I sensed troubling vibes from the beginning. Just the mixture of Bruce and Al and no one to hold them back or talk some sense into them filled me with dread. I kept on hearing them both say things like:

"Yeah we go try that . . ."

"For real? Ok, shoots."

"Ho brah and den what, after that we still going do the WOD?"

"Nah, can. I did 'em this morning already."

It got to the point where I just had to come out and ask:

"Are we doing two WOD's today?"

Yup.

Just so you know, this was not part of the regular workout. Our coaches had programmed deadlift for our strength workout and then three rounds of a 400 meter run, 10 burpees and as many double-unders as you can do in the time remaining. We had three minutes to do all that and then rest for two minutes.

Sounds like a tough workout already right? Well Al figured that since we're doing deadlifts already let's just do a deadlift WOD. Specifically 21, 15, and 9 reps of 225 pound deadlifts and handstand push-ups.

After that we would do the regular WOD. 

I said no way but Bruce said, "Nah, we go just sample."

"Ok. But I'm not deadlifting 225."

"Yes you are."

"Ok, I am."

What can I say, Bruce has this odd Jedi Mind Trick power without being trained in the ways of the Force. He tells you to lift a weight and you do because you feel shame that you're only lifting a third of what he just did.

I was still worried though. I mean, this had the makings of a bad Tarrantino movie with a bloodbath ending. Look at the key players:

Al - Mr. Fire Department Mini Spartan who works out at home AND THEN comes to the gym. In the same day.

Bruce the Moose - The man who lifts more than anyone else in the gym and then yells at you to "smell victory" in order to motivate you during your lifts. 

Garrett - A fine member of our Maui Police Department who is real strong and who I have never seen back down from any workout yet.

Shauna - She's just off. She's skinny as a Southeast Asian refugee and still thinks she has to do Crossfit, run to Iao and come home and do P90X or Insanity too. 

Dom - Small filipino guy who just joined the gym but puts up numbers like he's been doing it for years.

Then there was me, Mr. I Hate Cardio, who just told everyone that he was looking for more material for his blog because it was getting boring.

Well shit, here you go Mr. Antone, better blogging material for you on a silver platter. We've got drama, pain and suffering all before you have lunch. 

So like a bunch of dumbasses we all just followed Al and set up our deadlift bars and picked our handstand push-up spots. 

Me and Garrett were the last to finish. I wish I could tell you my time but AL COULDN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO SET UP THE DIGITAL CLOCK. Thanks buddy. 

Not that it mattered. We were smoked, especially me and Garrett. He was sitting down outside trying to breathe and I was lying down on the floor because my back felt like Bruce Lee had given it the six inch punch. 

We rested for a little bit in front of the fans then we got ready to run our first 400 meters. During the run I thought, "Ok, this isn't so bad."

Then I got back and dropped down for my first burpee and my arms were like, "WTF is wrong with you?"

I managed to finish my 10 burpees and got in NO double-unders. I tried, I swear.

Same thing happened in the second round, but then the third round I got mad.

I was like, for real? We're doing back to back WOD's? Eff this crap. 

I took off my shirt and I don't know what was going through my mind but I was determined to run with Al.

Stupid right? Well I was following Mr. Spartan all the way up and all the way back. I pulled the old Days of Thunder trick and drafted right in back of him.

I got a good head start on my burpees but then my friggen double unders was not there at all. I did one.

So you know what my final score was today? One. One double-under.

Anyway, that was the story of our noon class today. Thank you God for the material.

And to Bump and Kristi, come back soon. Please. Because Al and Bruce are trying to kill us.

Later gang,

Rod

Solution To Writer's Block . . . Go Back to the Beginning

So I've been having a hard time getting this blog up and running again. Loss of motivation, writer's block, getting old and lazy, aliens kidnapped me and replaced me with a clone of myself but I don't realize that I'm not the original copy of Rod Antone . . . whatever.

Anyway, there's a solution to this I feel. Read some Hunter S. Thompson and go back to the beginning. Back to when it all started. Jump into the DeLorean and hit 88 mph and revisit 2010 again when I first started my Crossfit journey at RFM.

I looked back at my first blog on September 28, 2010 and found this. My first post about Bump taking me through an introduction workout:

"The place is nothing more than a garage with weights all around and ropes hanging from the ceiling. But he's got me sweating after a 3 minute warm up and then has me lying down on the ground and gasping for air over the next seven minutes. I couldn't believe it. We did something called thrusters and burpees back to back and I almost saw the bright light and went over to the other side. It was nuts. 

Meanwhile I look around the gym and there are high school girls ripping through a more advanced workout than I just did. It was embarrassing. And painful. I was hooked."

Haha. Oh yes, I remember that day well. I didn't know anyone's name, just Bump and that his cute fiancee's name was Kristi. But I remember seeing Lori and Kehau and Frank and Derek all jam at the workout. (Kehau you're going to laugh but the first thought when I saw you was "big shoulders and small shorts" hahaha)

I also remember foolishly thinking that "Yeah the guys don't look THAT in shape . . . I can do this crap."

Well more than two years later and I'm still trying to do "that crap." The workouts are still hard, and challenging, and I'm still hooked.

And yes, there are those workouts that I still see the "bright light" but I no longer feel like I'm gonna die. Instead I know that this is just another workout and all I have to do is lie down in front of the fan and rest for a bit.

When I look back at it the journey has been more than just a physical one. I got some confidence back, some "mojo" as Austin Powers called it, something that kept deteriorating along with my health. My wife and I had decided to split, about to send my son to the mainland, was still working freelance and not making much money and still just basically finding my way back to . . . myself really.

RFM helped. Bumper and I really never talked in high school but God must have sensed that he could help me because we drank beers and talked several times that night at my 20th year reunion.

Things work out for a reason. Sometimes I say that RFM saved me, but that's not true, or that's not accurate as we say in journalism.

RFM revived me. Like defibrillators shock a body into working again, that's what RFM did for me. That first workout was a shock, and it revived me.

Not sure what I'm trying to say here, maybe I'm just trying to remind myself how this all started.

One final note for today, we did 30 manmakers for yesterday's workout. My time was 6:34. Last March it was more than 7 minutes.

Like Hunter S. Thompson once said . . . "Buy the ticket, take the ride." Been fun so far guys, let's keep it going.

Later,

Rod

I Hate . . . Blogging

It's been a while, a couple weeks actually, since I wrote anything in this blog.

I gotta be honest here folks, I've not been feeling it.

The I Hate Cardio blog was supposed to keep me honest, force me to stick to Crossfit if my workouts were on display for the world to see.

But ya know, I'm addicted. I'm going to keep going to Raw Fitness Maui until I get tired of it or suffer a major injury. The way things are going the second will happen long before the first.

So, I don't need this blog for that reason anymore. What then?

The only other reason is . . . I like people reading it.

For real. I'm a Leo, feeding my ego is a way of life. I need attention, which is why marriage didn't suit me I think.I hate to be ignored.

Now, lest you think I'm blaming you, the reader (or the non-reader if you want to get technical), I'm not. I blame myself.

It's not you, it's me.

Really. I've been so damn boring lately, who the hell would want to read this crap. My blog sounds like this:

"Oh today sucked because I was weak. Or slow. Or because I had the wrong sort of shoes on. Blah blah  blah blah blah."

I sound like a whining asshole. I don't even want to listen to me! Forget it.

No, if I'm going to keep writing this blog it's going to change. We all have to evolve. "Get stronger or get weaker." Applies to the Box and applies to the Blog.

So, to exercise some marketing techniques here, what makes a blog fun to read?

Personally I find that if I (1) write about my friends at RFM (2) make fun of myself or them and (3) say something interesting or exciting then usually I get an uptick in readership.

So therefore, I will employ all three. Not tonight though, because I'm not in the mood.

Gonna hit the box  tomorrow  though. Hopefully I find some inspiration.

Later . . . I think,

Rod

My Throat Still Hurts But It's Time to Get A Bloggin

Look, I'm not going to blame it all on sickness but . . .

I've been stricken with the strep. As in, in the throat. Praise God for antibiotics.

I noticed something was wrong last week Tuesday, when I could not even complete one round of the WOD.

Those of you who know me know that while I may be slow, I'll finish the WOD. But Tuesday I was miserable. Everything hurt and I didn't know why.

That night I started getting body aches, had a fever of 104 and still had the chills after putting on thermal underwear and socks. Oh yeah, and my throat hurt so bad I could barely drink water.

The next day I looked up "strep throat symptoms" on Google and sure enough, there was a wall of yellow crap behind my tonsils. I felt like I had been infested with Aliens. Ugh.

But thanks to Kaiser, lots of fluids and amoxicillin, I'm back. Had my first workout today and did my best, even though my throat was still a little sore. Here are some highlights:

- deadlift was 260 and it was reasonably easy. Next time I'll go up to 270. Maybe.
- pull-ups were weak, did three sets of five reps of weighted pull-ups using the 53 pound kettle bell. It sucked.
- the WOD was a simple and straightforward three rounder, :30 seconds of work followed by :30 seconds of rest, like so:


:30 kettle bell swings
:30 rest
:30 sit-ups
:30 rest
:30 double unders
:30 rest

After three rounds I ended up with about 180 something reps. My weak points were of course the double unders but at round two I managed to get 25 reps. My DU's have been sucking lately so I was happy with that at least.

Okay gang, gotta get serious about the workouts and my eating habits. Nothing like a bout with a painful illness to make you not take your health for granted. So let's get started.

See you at the box 'cause I'm back. For good this time.

Peace,

Rod