Coach Bumper slaps doctors around with his post, yeah boi

So if you head on over to the RFM website you'll see that Bump posted a big "eff you" to the doctors that told him to slow down because he needed some minor surgery on his ankle. This is my favorite part:

"You see, every sprain, strain, and tweak to that ankle came about from doing something I enjoy. I was having fun. And I was staying fit. I like to run, jump, squat, clean and jerk, and snatch. I don't do well sitting still. And I’m not about to stop."

Right on man, good for you. I feel the same way about ... drinking. And gambling. And other things.

No but seriously I do likes me some Crossfit. Effed up back and all. Of course my back likes to switch around which RFM workouts it hates. Before it was front squats and power cleans, but now it's deadlifts and kettlebell swings. Go figure.

For instance, last week we were doing three rounds of running the 400, 12 deadlifts and 20 box jumps. Pain pain pain. I didn't even make it past the second round. I know we're supposed to be happy about living to fight another day but if you do it too often you're a freakin pansy. Or you feel like one at least.

Anyway, today was a bit better. We had to hold the L position on the rings for as long as we could and we had 5 tries to get our best time. I did :37 seconds on my second try. Wasn't too bad but everybody kept making fun of my "concentration face." Yeah yeah, go to hell. Did any of you do :37 seconds? And that was with my half of a pectoral trying to hold my right arm steady on the rings. That's right biyotches.

Then we had one of those "just freaking go as fast as you can" type of workouts. Ten rounds, count 'em ten of 5 burpees and 10 situps. Of course the abs are burning from holding those L sits but that was the point I guess.

So we started the timer and we were off. I was keeping an eye on Kehau and kept up with her for the first two rounds but then started wheezing during the third round. Damn. Sometimes the childhood asthma comes back at the weirdest times.

I kept going and lost count a couple of  times but in the end I finished it before 10 minutes. I think I would have gotten a faster time had I not lost count because I think I did one round twice. I hate burpees but I can rip through those situps pretty fast. I've got abs under the flab, for real. You just can't see it because I'm a fat 200 pound man. Otherwise I'm in great shape.

Oh yeah, I should probably mention that Kehau is supposed to have a fitness blog of her own, but it's supposed to be a "soft opening." What the heck girl, you write for a LIVING. Just post the damn thing already, geez. I want to post comments already.

And on that note, (Like the segway? You've gotta have a way to transition.) I've had some people at the gym tell me they can't post comments on the blog anymore. Which sucks because reading comments after I write this damn thing is the best part about keeping a blog. Let me know if it's still a problem gang.

What I mean is tell me about it at the gym of course, since you can't leave a comment for me.

Until next time,

Rod

Trying to beat the clock

So while front squats aren't my favorite weight lifting movement I actually have an easier time with it than I used to.

My wrists are still inflexible so it hurts when I have to bend them backwards but the weight feels better on my legs than it does during back squat.

Still a bitch though. Today for strength I did 8 reps of 185. Good enough right?

Then for the real workout we did as many rounds as we could for 10 minutes that included a 200 meter run, 20 situps and 20 walking lunges.

Not bad. I actually looked at that and didn't wince today.

So we all line up for the first 200. Heidi the long legged sprints forward while the rest of us follow. I'm last.

We hit the situps and I start ripping them as fast as I can. I think I might actually have some abs under my flab if I could lose some weight because my abs don't get tired as quickly as they used to. Damn those martinis. And porter beers. And Jack and Cokes. Oh well.

I get done first then hit the walking lunges. I finish those and I'm off and jogging. Jun finishes and catches up with me. In fact for the rest of the workout Jun and I are about neck and neck.

He finally slows down a bit during the fourth round of situps though and I race past him. Then the lunges and I'm out the door once again, this time sprinting a little faster because I see the 10 minutes we have is almost gone.

I hit the halfway mark and turn around and I hear everyone yelling, "30 seconds Rod!!!!" Ah crap.

I try to turn on the afterburners, although in my case it's more like trying to start an old weed eater. Either the motor catches and you start workin or you don't.

To my surprise the engine turns over. A little bit. But by then everyone is yelling, "10 SECONDS ROD!!!" Wait, what the hell happened to the 20 second warning? Crap.

I pump a little faster and worry that I'm not going to be able to stop and crash into the crowd. I figure if they're standing there they know the hazards and I push. The countdown gets down to the "3, 2, 1 . . ." and I step in front of the gym where I started. People cheer and get the hell out of my way as I stumble past. One of the new guys catches me and helps me stop.

"Ho brah you one animal," he says. I try to say thanks but you need air to talk and I have none in my lungs.

I lie down and try to breathe again. Meanwhlie I'm thinking, "Four rounds and one run. I can live with that."

On another note, I've also been thinking about a serious draft for the RFM radio script. Tell me what you think:

Male Voice: AT RAW FITNESS MAUI WE KNOW THERE'S MORE TO WORKING OUT THAN JUST LOOKING GOOD.

Male Voice: YOU HAVE TO TRAIN FOR STRENGTH
Female Voice: ENDURANCE
Male Voice: SPEED
FV: AGILITY
MV: COORDINATION
FV: POWER

(Anyway you list all 10 reasons why you train and say it fast, so that the words run over each other.)

Male Voice: IF YOUR GYM ISN'T HELPING YOU TO ACHIEVE AT LEAST ONE OF THESE GOALS THEN YOU HAVE TO ASK YOURSELF, WHY ARE YOU THERE?

FV: COME CHECK OUT RAW FITNESS MAUI, WHERE YOUR FITNESS IS OUR PASSION. THAT'S RAW FITNESS MAUI LOCATED ON EHA STREET BEHIND SACK N SAVE. OR CHECK OUT OUR WEBSITE AT http://www.rawfitnessmaui.com/

Something like that. Gotta iron it out but I think it'll work. What do you think?

Rod

The Filthy 50 and RFM radio

So, here's a couple of updates.

I think I can handle front squats now.

We were doing them the other day and of course my wrists hurt like a mutha. But then Bumper showed me how I needed to shove that bar so close to my neck that I was almost choking and damn, if that wasn't like 100 times better.

I ended up doing 205 lbs for one rep. Considering my back squat is about 265 lbs for my one rep max I think that's pretty good.

Oh, but then today I regretted going heavy on the front squats. For today was the Filthy 50.

Not sure I can remember it all but it went something like this: 50 box jumps, 50 jumping pullups, 50 lungs, 50 knees to elbows, 50 of this 50 of that and on and on.

The end result was several times during the workout I laid down and wanted to stop moving. But then the clock kept ticking and you get up and keep trying.

Oh man. I'm beat. I need 2 days of rest I think. Maybe I'll go back to the gym on Saturday instead of Friday.

But before I go I leave you with my latest radio script for the RFM ad that will be played on Wild 105.5 FM.

The station manager is a friend (and employee of mine at the County) and is giving Bumper and Kristi some radio commercials in exchange for a membership. I wrote a mockup of what I think the first commercial should be, here it is starring Kristi and Kehau, aka Tehau:

KRISTI: "Hi I'm Kristi and I'd like to invite you to a free workout at Maui's premiere Crossfit gym, Raw Fitness Maui!"

KRISTI: "We just moved into our new location in the Wailuku industrial area and have more room than ever before for new members, so come on down!"

KRISTI: "Our trainers include myself, Robert Bumper Kikuchi and Tehau, Maui's strongest woman! Say hi Tehau!"

TEHAU: "CHEEEEEEEEEEEHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

KRISTI: "That's right, come down and sign up today and Tehau will push your car into the parking lot for free, no sweat!"

KRISTI: "That's Raw Fitness Maui, right next to Sack and Save and a shitload of Korean Bars. See you there! Aurite." 

I know, I'm a genius. Thankyewverymuch.

Rod

New gym, hard workout, more pain

We finally had a workout at the new gym which is located next to Sack and Save, a $hitload of Korean bars and an adult video store. All of us especially noticed the adult video store because it's the landmark of where we have to turn around during our 400 meter run.

Some other highlights: besides being bigger and having a shower, our new gym also has some cool breezes blowing on a regular basis. Not sure why it's so much cooler than the Mill Street location but it is.

Inside the gym though, it's the same. All business. And some personal horror.

Today we start off with shoulder presses. Today I threw on 185. Yeah. I cranked out one then I was done. Like nothing left at all for a second one. I think I overdid it. My upper back feels kinda stiff and my neck hurts when I look down.

But I keep eyeing out Bumper's record of 195 for shoulder presses and I see the gold medal. Of course when I told him that today he had that glint in his eye that said "I'll just lift 200." Yup. It's that kind of gym.

Afterwards I looked at the board and saw the following: 3 rounds of 5 pullups, 10 pushups, 15 squats and a 400 meter run. Hmmm, not too bad.

But then Bumper explained it. It's three rounds of three rounds. So nine rounds total.

Sigh.

So we began. There wasn't enough room for everyone to do pullups at once so I did the workout in reverse. Squats first, pushups then pullups. Everybody cranked out the first round pretty quick then ran. Coming back from the first 400 I remember thinking, "this sucks."

By the end of the second 400 I thought, "I hate this new gym."

By the end of the third 400 I had no thoughts. My mind was wiped clean with exhaustion.

Geez, is it only Monday? I wonder what day 2 a tthe new gym will be like.

I actually do not want to know, but I'll be there. Mostly so I can feel good about drinking on the weekend.

And if the first workout is any indication, I will feel very good about drinking a lot this weekend.

Peace.

Rod

I have to work late but I just wanted to say goodbye to the old gym on Mill Street. And see the whole RFM crew down at the new gym near Sack and Save. Aurite.