Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Some things just don't go well together

You know what I mean right? There's stuff out there that people just shouldn't mix, and if they do they get into trouble.

Stuff like oil and water. Drinking and driving. Laxatives and sleeping pills.

Well you can add thrusters and burpees to that list. I've said it before and I'll say it again.

Individually they suck. Together they are more powerfully sucky than you can imagine.

Today we had to do 50 thrusters. No time limit but for every minute that went by you had to do 5 burpees.

So unless you did a thruster a second for 50 seconds you were going to do AT LEAST five burpees.

But see, that's the trap. Once you do burpees it eats into your energy for thrusters. Then it takes longer for you to do less thrusters which means you end up doing more burpees because the minutes are getting shorter.

I imagine hell  to be like this, where time stretches out and the pain increases into infinity.

Fortunately Bump allows me to scale. Satan wouldn't let me do that probably which might be the only difference between the two of them.

Think about it, both of them think of devious ways to destroy you. They both instruct their lieutenants (coaches) to inflict more suffering upon you and they both laugh when you're in pain.

Something to think about. On Monday's WOD I'm bringing some holy water from church and sprinkling some on Bump just to see if it sizzles. I believe it might.

Okay, back to the workout. Did I mention that prior to the WOD we had like a mini-strength WOD?
Ten turkish get-ups on each side, then walk 200 meters for the farmer's carry and 200 for the waiter's carry.

This was also painful and my forearms throb as I type right now. I have a feeling by tomorrow they will be immobile. I know this because after the workout I stopped at Whole Foods to get a pizza (a healthy pizza with pepperoni, spinach and mushrooms) and had a hard time carrying the pizza out.

Between today's workout and yesterday we all took a beating. Yesterday we did 10 hand-stand pushups, 20 pull-ups, 30 box jumps, 40 kettlebell swings, 50 sit-ups and the 400 meter run. Then when you got back you did everything again, except in reverse, starting with the 50 sit-ups.

It was so bad that Derek said he wasn't coming back on Tuesday and he wasn't joking. I'm not sure why I did. I'm in that cycle of abuse, I just can't break it. It's like battered wife syndrome.

Yeah I know, so far in one blog posting I've compared Bump to Satan and Ike Turner. I can't help it, I'm mentally fatigued and I'm blog rambling.

All I know is my shower tonight is going to feel great. Take care, it's time to pass out in the bathroom.

Later,

Rod



My Mental Prep Routine

Just read the RFM post about the "Mental Approach to Crossfit." Not bad.

My personal approach is as follows, here's the Pre-workout first:

- Look at the WOD board to see if it changed since I saw it online last night.
- Look at the times/weights/reps that people in the earlier classes did before me and either laugh or cry
- Curse and swear at myself for not sticking to my Paleo diet

Warm-up

- Mentally scream "I hate stretching" to myself so I can block out the physical pain
- Think positive, "No long distance bear crawls please, YES!!!"
- Sniff myself to see if I brought fresh workout clothes.

Strength Workout

- Set goals. Lift more than Marcus, lift at least half as much as Ikaika, make sure Kehau doesn't work out with me otherwise she will lift as much or more weight.

WOD

- Try to think some strategy. Should I go all out, conserve my strength during certain movements, trip Derek, etc?
- Tell Kehau to change that damn music.
- Position myself behind another person so that Bumper cannot see my lack of form.

Post - WOD

- lie down
- drool
- steal someone's water
- try to scare the 6 p.m. class as much as possible on the way out.