Merry Christmas, have some friction burns on your ass

You guys ever do Annie? Wait that sounds weird. Let me start again.

Crossfit names some of it's tougher workouts using girls names, like they do hurricanes. It's a good practice because you feel like you get hit by a hurricane afterwards.

"Annie" is the name for the double-unders/sit-ups workout. Reps go something like this: 50, 40, 30, 20, 10.

Pretty simple except you realize that after 50 double-unders your core is toast.

I know this because despite my lack of abs I can do sit-ups. But after the first round of DU's I did the first five sit-ups and said "WTF, I have to do 45 more of these?"

It got to the point where the DU's were the easy part. In fact I actually did consistent DU's for the first time. I'm talking about 15 to 20 reps. Derek was my witness and even he was psyched and yelled, "YEAH ROD!!!!"

(On a side note it's always great when you have an actual witness at RFM that sees you doing something you haven't been able to do before. Like the old saying goes, if you praise yourself you're bragging, if someone else does it for you it's a compliment.)

But yeah, thanks D. He even held my feet so I could crank out the final two sets of sit-ups at the end.

I was tore up in more ways than one afterwards. Not only did my abs hurt for days but I had two lines of friction burns on my behind, one for each cheek. Must have come from the sit-ups. I talked to Val and a couple of other members and they had the same gifts from Annie. Thanks a lot Annie. You and your boyfriend Beelzebump rock.

So after that I wasn't able to make it back  to the gym until December 24, which was a Saturday, because I had to go get my son in California. I don't usually go to Saturday workouts but I figured I'd be busy with my son and should take advantage of the fact that he was sleeping off the jet lag from the day before.

So Bump comes out with this workout called the "12 Days of Christmas" and it went something like this:

- One 100 meter run
- Two push presses
- Three pull-ups
- Four lunges
- Five sit-ups
- Six push-ups
- Seven squats
- Eight kettle-bell swings
- Nine toes to bar
- Ten box jumps
- Eleven wall balls
- Twelve burpee star-jumps

I'm looking at it and thinking, "Hmmm . . . looks okay until you hit 9, 10, 11, 12 but should be okay otherwise." Maybe Bump was taking it easy on us because it was Christmas.

Then that bastard explained that we would have to do the workout for the entire length of the song. You know how they start over again each time? So it went like this: Run. Then run and do push presses. Then run and do push-presses and then pull-ups. Then run, push press, pull-ups and add lunges and so on and so forth.

Sweet baby Jesus. So much for the easy holiday schedule. I was right though. I didn't start completely bogging until we hit the toes to bar. That completely sucked.

Scratch that. The burpee star-jumps sucked but by then I was on my last round.

Whoooooooo-boy.

On another note, is anyone going to the Lahaina Crossfit Winter Strength Challenge? How does this work? Do you enter all the events or just the ones you want to? I want to try, just not squats or anything. Or deadlift. I went to their website http://www.lahainacrossfit.com/ but didn't see a list of events or how it works. Ah, I'll figure it out later.

Finally, does anyone need a slot in the 10:30 a.m. Warrior Dash registration http://warriordash.com/register2012_hawaii.php?

My friend Eric is coming to Maui but mixed up his dates and thought he would be here for the Warrior Dash and signed up for it. Anyone who wants to go and hasn't registered can probably pay him for his fee and take his place. If I don't hear from anyone in a week I'll tell him to go ahead and get a refund if he can.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnndddd, for those of you who went to the RFM Christmas party you may have caught a glimpse of Sole Claus, a friend of mine who MC'd the limbo contest. (By the way thank you Val for  having your daughter and her boyfriend enter the contest, they were very entertaining.)

Sole was visiting for Christmas and wanted to say a few words on my blog so here he is:

"Eh, is dis ting woking? Ok! How is you guys at da RFM doing? Thanks to you for letting me MC yoa Christmas pah-tee, I was very impressed at yoa abilities fo going unda da white pipe. Ova hea you guys call dat "limbo", at home we just call dat ducking undaneat someting. I neva undastand why you just neva go around dat PVC pipe but it's okay, I no judge anybodee. So long as you haff a good time dat's all dat mattas. You guys had some funnie peoples though. Dere was dat girl dat neva like put down her Primo beer da whole time, I tought she was gonna hit her da kines on da pipe cause she only drink all night but she did pretty good. Den dere was my sole cousin Tehau she do da robot in da semifinals. Dat was very impressive but not as impressive as dat small girl with the big kine . . . flexibility . . .dat when bend all da way backwards. Good ting my cousin is a good sport, oddawise she woulda push all yoa cars out into da street and make all kine pileup. But I tole her, 'Tehau you no kona get ankree like you do at da bar.' I was very proud of her because she control her ankreeness."

Hookay I like to wish everybodee Happy New Year and please no be like my cousin Tefe dat wen blow up his fingers making homekine exposions. Just buy dat stuffs from the store and you light 'em up safely from yoa car while you driving. Dat way you trow it at peoples and drive away at da same time. CHEEEHOOO!!!"

Thanks Sole. Also let's give a shout out to Jordan "JHo" Holland, owner of Xplore Crossfit in Seattle, WA.http://www.xplorecrossfit.com  Ran into the guy on the plane home from picking up my son and told him about Raw Fitness Maui. Come check us out!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everybody!!!!

Rod

Sleeping as I write this

These past couple of workouts I haven't been blogging. Mostly because as soon as I get home I crash out.

I know, every workout at RFM is hard. But I think the holidays have left me more out of shape than usual.

On Monday we squatted, and I even took it down a notch. I based all of my lifts off of 225 so that it was lighter for me. Made a world of difference. For the first time I actually felt good squatting. That and I went barefoot. It all helped.

Then afterwards we did 3 power cleans, 6 push ups and 9 squats, AMRAP for three minutes then rest for one minute. Repeat for three rounds. My back was pretty stiff afterwards.

Today a lot of us were still stiff. But we had to get unstiff quickly as we were running 10 rounds of 40 meter dashes today.

I was lined up with Kats but he pulled something on our second run. After that I ran with Patty and the new guy Dave. I couldn't keep up with Dave and I barely pulled out in front of Patty. That girl is fast AND strong. I dub her Tehau Jr. or Mofotaru. I think I like Mofotaru.

After that I knew I was in trouble. Five rounds of 12 pull ups and 12 burpees. Oh Lord.

Bump was talking about scaling and I was listening. Either cut down on the reps or cut down on the rounds. I went  for rounds.

I did okay on the pull ups but those burpees, I had nothing left. My legs were lead once again. I was amazed that even on the 5th round Tito was still jumping pretty high. The rest of us were trying to jump over credit cards.

I was able to pay attention to Tito because I stopped at the fourth round. No legs. Legs were shot.

Now I regret it. I have Crossfit remorse, another phrase to go along with Crossfit amnesia.

Right now though my body doesn't feel like I held back on that last round. It feels like it took a beating.

Whoopie, can't wait for Wednesday. Bring it on Beelzebump, bring it on.

Zzzzzzz....

Stupid Stupid Stupid People

So we get to the gym today and we're warming up and I notice a couple of police cars on the other end of the parking lot. Then a third one drives by and we're all thinking, what the heck is going on?

We couldn't see what was happening but we figured it wasn't our business so we went on with the workout. Turns out one of our female gym members had a whack experience.

She said a family followed her into the parking lot and claimed that she cut them off and blocked her car in and told her to step out side. Meanwhile they're pounding on the windows and everything. She's freaked out and calls the cops.

All of this takes place a little more than half a football field away. After the cops and the suspect vehicles left she came over and started working out with us. It wasn't until later that she told us what happened.

First off, I have to say I've been cut off and have cut people off. Most of the time by accident. Yeah you get mad but usually sane people honk their horn and go about their business.

What the hell drives you to follow them into a parking lot and block in her car with your car, then have your wife or girlfriend get out and start pounding on the window and demanding a fight? That's beyond ghetto.

What that tells me is that group of people are just angry at life itself and were presented with an situation where they felt justified to take it all out on a stranger. C'mon people, learn to be human beings and get on with it.

It made me wonder though, what would have happened if we DID recognize her car and went over? I predict we would have tried to make peace then threatened to call the cops (which she was already doing while locked in her car anyway).

Would they have taken a swing at us? Who knows. I loves my Maui peeps but sometimes you've just got to leave high school behind. And I swear the women are worse than the guys. They're just ready to throw down on any given occasion.

Sheesh. Anyway . . .

Bump's got us on a new strength workout, on Monday we did five sets of five of deadlifts that just got heavier and heavier. I myself had to lift 200, 220, 255, 280 and 310. I felt like I was speed powerlifting. (With perfect technique of course).

And we have this new guy Bruce who I've known since I was a kid. He's a granddad and still strong as hell. He told me he hasn't lifted deadlifts in seven years but then on his last set he's supposed to only do 280 and he tells me, "Rod try put on 300, I just try 'em once."

Well Bruce cranked out all five of those reps. I was like, this is week one, you might want to not go balls to the wall just yet.

But what the hell, Bruce inspired me. You can tell he's got the Crossfit bug already. He's excited to get really good really fast and that's the kind of guy you want in the gym.

 Then today we did five minutes of as many pull ups as we can do for strength. I manged to crank out 36 dead hang pull ups. Tough.

For the WOD we did 15 handstand pushups, 15 dumb bell hang power cleans and then ran the 400. You repeat that same sequence except the reps drop to 12 and 9 respectively. I cranked out the handstand pushups, did reasonably well at the power cleans and was dismal at the run. Yeah I know, not only do I hate cardio but it hates me back. I need to figure out a different way to run I think.

Alright gang, time for bed. Adios.

Rod

Really?

So I hear I'm being punished for my posts by people NOT POSTING responses purposely.

This hits me hard, as I am a Leo and live off of attention. Yes, I am an egomaniac.

HOWEVER . . . this means I get to say whatever I want without fear of retaliation.

You have been warned. Some verbal ass whupping will begin shortly.

I've been forewarned

I got this ominous email message today from my good buddy Kehau:

"Call Bumper out and don't show face at RFM? You wussy.

You better come Friday. A mob will be waiting."

It's good to be loved.

Yes, I did compare Bump to the devil. I know he's looking for me but I had to meet with my reporters who write for the University of Hawaii Maui College student newspaper. It's online only but this is as good a place as any to plug the website. www.uhmauinews.com 

What's that you say? Why thank you, I'm proud of our student reporters as well. Boy, sure would be great if the Maui News did a little feature article about Maui College starting up the student newspaper again. I know right? It would be perfect for the Sunday paper. If only I knew someone who wrote for the paper. Better yet, someone who writes specifically for the features section and could lend their skills toward crafting a fine story about these young but hungry news hounds. 

I'm sure she, I mean whoever that reporter is, would receive accolades from her, I mean their co-workers and peers. The crowds would cheer, champagne would fall from the heavens, doors would open, velvet ropes would part.

But I digress. 

Anyway, speaking about writing, I finally checked out Crossfit One World. I was struck by the blogger's writing style. Pretty good. I liked the examples that he listed as far as why someone would benefit from Crossfit training: A first responder may need a short burst of speed and power or the ability to run a medium to long distance without being completely wiped out afterward. A parent should be able to pick up their child, whether in play or in an emergency. An athlete may need to lift something heavy for a short period of time, or lift something light for a long period of time. 

Also he had a pretty good motto for his gym and said that his program best prepares you to "Train Not To Suck At Life."

I think I'm going to have to start following this guy, he's got some writing chops. 

Sorry, I must be bipolar

So my last blog I complained about the hell that is RFM and how Bump is a demon, and should have his name changed to Beelze-Bump (haha).

And yet today I feel myself feeling like he doesn't respect us enough to AT LEAST give us the same post Thanksgiving workout as posted on the Hardass Fitness website. Check this out:

600 meter run
40 squats
30 sit ups
20 push ups
10 pull ups
600 meter run
10 pull ups
20 push ups
30 sit ups
40 squats
600 m run
40 squats
30 sit ups
20 push ups
10 pull ups
600 m run
10 pull ups
20 push ups
30 sit ups
40 squats
600 m run

They ran the 600 m FIVE times. Are they crazy? Sadistic? Masochistic?

The sane part of me realizes that we should all be THANKFUL that we did not receive this workout.

And then the abused RFMer in me wants to know why we didn't push it as far as Hardass Fitness did. I saw those people here, our people workout as hard as their people. If anything they do more cardio and we do more lifting.

We can handle that, right? Where the heck is the 600 meter mark around our gym anyway? 

Some things just don't go well together

You know what I mean right? There's stuff out there that people just shouldn't mix, and if they do they get into trouble.

Stuff like oil and water. Drinking and driving. Laxatives and sleeping pills.

Well you can add thrusters and burpees to that list. I've said it before and I'll say it again.

Individually they suck. Together they are more powerfully sucky than you can imagine.

Today we had to do 50 thrusters. No time limit but for every minute that went by you had to do 5 burpees.

So unless you did a thruster a second for 50 seconds you were going to do AT LEAST five burpees.

But see, that's the trap. Once you do burpees it eats into your energy for thrusters. Then it takes longer for you to do less thrusters which means you end up doing more burpees because the minutes are getting shorter.

I imagine hell  to be like this, where time stretches out and the pain increases into infinity.

Fortunately Bump allows me to scale. Satan wouldn't let me do that probably which might be the only difference between the two of them.

Think about it, both of them think of devious ways to destroy you. They both instruct their lieutenants (coaches) to inflict more suffering upon you and they both laugh when you're in pain.

Something to think about. On Monday's WOD I'm bringing some holy water from church and sprinkling some on Bump just to see if it sizzles. I believe it might.

Okay, back to the workout. Did I mention that prior to the WOD we had like a mini-strength WOD?
Ten turkish get-ups on each side, then walk 200 meters for the farmer's carry and 200 for the waiter's carry.

This was also painful and my forearms throb as I type right now. I have a feeling by tomorrow they will be immobile. I know this because after the workout I stopped at Whole Foods to get a pizza (a healthy pizza with pepperoni, spinach and mushrooms) and had a hard time carrying the pizza out.

Between today's workout and yesterday we all took a beating. Yesterday we did 10 hand-stand pushups, 20 pull-ups, 30 box jumps, 40 kettlebell swings, 50 sit-ups and the 400 meter run. Then when you got back you did everything again, except in reverse, starting with the 50 sit-ups.

It was so bad that Derek said he wasn't coming back on Tuesday and he wasn't joking. I'm not sure why I did. I'm in that cycle of abuse, I just can't break it. It's like battered wife syndrome.

Yeah I know, so far in one blog posting I've compared Bump to Satan and Ike Turner. I can't help it, I'm mentally fatigued and I'm blog rambling.

All I know is my shower tonight is going to feel great. Take care, it's time to pass out in the bathroom.

Later,

Rod

My Mental Prep Routine

Just read the RFM post about the "Mental Approach to Crossfit." Not bad.

My personal approach is as follows, here's the Pre-workout first:

- Look at the WOD board to see if it changed since I saw it online last night.
- Look at the times/weights/reps that people in the earlier classes did before me and either laugh or cry
- Curse and swear at myself for not sticking to my Paleo diet

Warm-up

- Mentally scream "I hate stretching" to myself so I can block out the physical pain
- Think positive, "No long distance bear crawls please, YES!!!"
- Sniff myself to see if I brought fresh workout clothes.

Strength Workout

- Set goals. Lift more than Marcus, lift at least half as much as Ikaika, make sure Kehau doesn't work out with me otherwise she will lift as much or more weight.

WOD

- Try to think some strategy. Should I go all out, conserve my strength during certain movements, trip Derek, etc?
- Tell Kehau to change that damn music.
- Position myself behind another person so that Bumper cannot see my lack of form.

Post - WOD

- lie down
- drool
- steal someone's water
- try to scare the 6 p.m. class as much as possible on the way out.

Gary and Ikaika hit some milestones today

So this week I'm house sitting for my cousin who lives like two minutes from the gym, or the "box" as Erin likes to call it. Might have to steal that one from you Erin. Anyway, today I was totally into the Duke/Kansas game and sorta lost track of time.

Then Kehau texted me and called me a slacker and I noticed that it was 5 p.m. already. Oops.

But I remembered, hey, I'm not going back to Paia, I can just cruise and go to the 6 p.m. Which I never do.

So first thing I get there and Ikaika is there already and talking about not feeling it for the deadlifts tonight. I can relate.

Remember that last post about fear? Well you don't have to be injured to experience it. You can come close. Last time I tried for a personal best for deadlifts I stalled at 360. I wasn't feeling even close to that tonight.

Anyway Ikaika, Marcus and I jump on one bar after Oran proceeds to point out all the bad habits of those damn 5 o'clockers. Ha, for once I knew he wasn't talking about me because I wasn't there! But Oran is the man when it comes to technique and I took heed. Bar over the shoelaces, fully engaged back, got it.

So we warm up with 135 and then Ikaika says let's jump up to 225 which was okay. Then he went 315 and I was kinda like, okaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy. Marcus didn't flinch though so I just shut up and grabbed the bar. Damn thing almost slipped out of my hand. But I cranked out a rep or two.

Then he hit 405 and I was like crap, no way. I chalked up and bent over and tried it. Nope. Not even an inch off the ground. I was happy to say Marcus couldn't do it either. I was like, "YES". Hey, what can I say? Misery loves company.

Ikaika does it of course then throws on 430. Son of a bitch. He did it and it was scary. I thought his spine was going to snap. Kudos brah, that looked kinda nuts.

So now me and Marcus have to find our one rep max. I figure screw it, try 365 so I have the chance to break my own personal best at least.

I go first and damn, about half way up it felt like I was entering another dimension. Seriously. My vision started blurring on the sides and I heard the Twilight Zone theme music start playing. But I went up with the weight and stood up straight. Back and shoulder muscles engaged and legs trembling.

I told Marcus about the other dimensional feeling and he laughed. After he did his rep he looked at me and pointed and said, "I know EXACTLY what you're talking about." Yeah dude, it's sort of like you're high. Not that I know anything about that sort of thing, I was *ahem* just agreeing with Marcus.

Then there was the WOD, 15 dumbbell hang cleans, 40 double unders, 10 hc's, 40 du's, 5 hc's, 40 du's. For time of course.

I was going to grab the 40 pound dumbbells but damn it, someone took all of them so I had to grab the 35's. Seriously though, if I had known Kehau was going to do 35's I would have done 40's. Curses, she's foiled me again! (Twirl the moustache)

Also I finally think I've found out the secret of double unders. It's called, "jumping." Yes indeedy, it appears I've been extremely lazy and not wanting to jump high enough so that I have enough time to allow the rope to go under me twice. It just seems like a lot of energy wasted. As a result of that realization and Lori's awesome jump rope I had a good time (for me) although I forgot what it was. A little more than 6 minutes I think.

And then at the end of the night as I was going home, Gary tells me, "Hey Rod, I just made one year today." What? That's huge! Gary made one year at RFM!!! We should be putting his picture on the website! I asked him why he didn't say anything and he tells me, "I just did" and then smiled.

Typical Gary. Good job man and happy 1 year anniversary.

And Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. I'm thankful for my friends at RFM and the little family we have in and out of the gym. Take care everybody. Tomorrow I call my son, eat and watch football. In that order.

Peace!

Rod

What kind of RFMer are you?

So someone was mentioning that there was a Crossfit gym website that posted some funny videos. I checked it out and yes indeed, Crossfit Oahu has some funny stuff.

They've compiled some videos of some stereotypical Crossfitters, the talker, the guy who posts fake times, the sloppy technique guy, Mr. Sweats a lot, etc.

Amusing, yes indeedy. But somewhat generic. Plus some of that stuff doesn't happen at RFM. C'mon, time cheaters? Everyone is proud of their time, even though it may suck.

Chalk whores? Nah. Kehau is the closest thing we have but she actually suffers from chalk hatred, made obvious by the 12 times that she's kicked over the chalk bucket in frustration and anger.

No, here at RFM, we are nothing if not unique. And we have some originals here who defy the stereotypes.

They include:

Stiff Necked Fools - You know who you are. We have trouble doing power cleans because our wrists hurt when we bend them, our backs give out before our muscles do and squatting all the way down is just a pipe dream. Oh yes, foam rollers are not our friends.

Wait to see the Weight - Those of us who lie in wait, to see which weights our friends will use for the WOD, and then go 2 and a half pounds more, just to say we lifted more than they did. Sometimes we go 2 and a half pounds less just so we can have more reps.

Restroom Tyrants - It's 5:59 p.m. and the 6 p.m. class is waiting for us, yet you feel the need to use the bathroom seven times before you start the WOD. It's not just Lori by the way.

Music Miscreants - You ask me to do 5 rounds of deadlifts, thrusters and burpees while you play Enya. Please go to hell and take your iPhone with you.

Female Furies - This I think is found only at RFM. Lori pushes you around and mocks you for doing less weight than she does, Kehau pretends to give you friendly advice about your form and then whispers to Bumper "This is why he sucks", Carol scares the crap out of you with her Marine Corps Drill Sgt. screams and Kristi sends intimidating sonic booms whenever she stomps her feet while powerlifting. Then every once in a while they give me a foam roller so they can laugh their asses off. Very funny mofos.

The Cheerleaders - They're always yelling "good job" as they pass you by on the 400 meter run when what they really mean is "Good job falling behind. Fag." I know what you're thinking. I see it in your eyes.

See, this list is much more honest. Give me a video camera, I'll start our own video series.

By the way, shuttle runs, sit-ups and Superman's made up Tuesday's workout. No squats. That's all I have to say, which means I had a good day and won't have to crawl out of bed tomorrow.

And with that, I say peace everybody,

Rod

Some real progress

I think everyone here knows Erin's story, but I'll post it again here for my two non-RFM blog readers just in case.

Erin joined RFM earlier this year while we were still at the old gym location on Mill Street. I had hardly gotten to know her when she was gone. Turns out she fell and broke her collarbone while doing the warm up lap one evening.

Ouch. When I heard the news I thought, "Oh well, guess we'll never see her again."

Wrong. As soon as she was healed up she came back like nothing happened. Now I don't know about you but a broken collarbone is nothing to laugh at. NFL football players are out for a whole season because of broken collarbones. Erin's got some sort of mutant healing factor or something.

Anyway the reason why I'm bringing up her story now is because I saw on her Facebook page last night that she did a handstand push-up for the first time since the accident. That's huge. Big props.

(NOTE: Erin told me later that she actually did a HANDSTAND, not a handstand push-up. It's still a great accomplishment though.)

See I've been injured, and after you're injured you start to favor that injured part of your body like it's your child. You don't want it getting hurt again and there's psychological barriers sometimes even after the physical scars heal.

Like I was scared for a long time to ever bench again after tearing my pectoral. And like how I didn't body board for a whole year after smashing my face into the reef. And like how I was freaked out the first time someone went for my face during sparring after a black belt elbowed my nose and broke it so badly it was a roughly 90 degree angle from it's original position.

But I digress. Needless to say I know about the fear, and if Erin broke her collarbone then she's probably had some fear about any sort of shoulder movement. It just comes with the territory.

So kudos to her and everyone else that works through their fear. It's not like how I bitch about sore muscles, a stiff back or exhausted legs. The fear is a more serious problem, at least I think it is. Like I don't ever know if I'll even want to try 275 ever again, which was the weight that I tore my pec with so long ago.

But maybe I will. Because before RFM I never even thought that I would bench again. It's funny, Bump was one of the fastest guys in high school but his mantra now is for all of his gym members to go slow and steady, which is fine by me. It's a good way to avoid injury. And the FEAR.

On another note. Anyone need a 10:30 a.m. slot for the Warrior Dash? My friend Eric paid for a spot but realized too late that the race was going to happen AFTER he left Hawaii. (See what happens when you don't check with your wife about the reservations?)

So rather than let his 50 bucks go to waste does anyone want to have the slot and pay him? I'll make the necessary arrangements, contact administrators, etc. I guess we can just get a refund but it seems like more and more RFMer's are signing up for the run every week so I thought I'd check.

Let me know.

Oh yeah, the WOD. Ten kettlebell swings, 10 lunges with weight and 10 box jumps. Thank you Kats for suggesting the 44 pound kettlebell. Five rounds and I was done.

Peace out homies.

Rod

Warrior Dashin

So I'm in. I'm doin the Warrior Dash come March.

Wondering what it is? It's a race. 3.1 miles of some funky obstacle course craziness.

When I was working on Oahu as a reporter we always covered the event, or at least sent out a photographer or cameraman out to it. Good visuals. How can you go wrong with:

- people slogging through mud
- crawling under barbed wire
- climbing over walls
- jumping over fire

That last one is a new obstacle, I don't remember seeing video of any sort of fire pictures during past events but there it is. As a confirmed pyromaniac I love fire but the klutz in me is afraid of stumbling and falling into a pile of burning coals. Straub Medical Center has an excellent burn unit at least.

Anyway, heading down to the event with me is the man who first got me started in Crossfit back in Albuquerque, New Mexico, my buddy Eric Johnson. Eric is a Colonel in the Air Force and works for the Pentagon. He just got back from Afghanistan and is stoked to come out to Maui for a vacation in March. When I realized that Warrior Dash was happening in the middle of his trip I figured he would want to go. Should be pretty sweet.

I know the rest of the RFM crew will be staying at some crazy beach house on the North Shore but it sounds pretty crowded already. I've got a buddy that lives in Kailua that has a couple of spare rooms and a fully stocked liquor cabinet. We'll probably crash there to save money and maybe even try to fly Mokulele Airlines for their cheap $68 fares.

March looks like fun. Unlike yesterday's workout.

It actually wasn't so bad except for a couple of glitches. We worked the foam rollers for mobility and that hurt. I've done it a couple of times before and it's pretty painful. I'm trying to search for the words to explain how it feels in writing but I'm coming up short. Let's just say there was screaming involved. What can I say, my thighs are tender.

Then we had four rounds of 20 second squats, sit-ups then push-ups. Ten seconds rest between each 20 second round. The only thing was that when you rested between squat rounds you had to do it with your knees bent and holding your half-way down squat position, so it really wasn't rest. Damn you Kristi for that alteration.

I knew the squats would suck but I was hoping for 60 each from push-ups and sit-ups at least. I forgot what was total was but it was one more rep than Kats. Ah well.

Okay gang, not sure if I'm going to make it to RFM today, got some after work bizness to take care of today.

Later,

Rod

What'd you say Val?

Do you know Val? She's a very sweet woman. She works out at our gym and always has a smile on her face and kind word on her lips.

Which is probably why I kind of blinked twice when she told me today, "If my daughter comes home for break and gets a go-go dancing gig, do you think the gym will go support her?"

Now, it's not often that someone confuses me, intrigues me and shocks me at the same time. I've heard it all but this was a first.

In fact why don't we break down the sentence to explain what surprised me so.

1) You have a daughter that go-go dances.

2) You're not only okay with it the go-go dancing but you'd like your friends to go watch her if she lands a gig here on Maui during her Christmas break.

3) Although Kristi and Bumper are owners of the gym and usually the social event organizers for our little RFM family, you came to talk to ME about this potential outing.

My responses to these three points are:

1) You have a cool daughter.

2) You are a cool mother.

3) You are a wise woman who recognizes the marketing power of the I Hate Cardio blog.

OF COURSE we will come to support your daughter. Watercrest is a fine establishment and boasts a delicious pupu menu. It is also located close by the gym so it will be easy for us to head down there after a Friday workout. Just let us know the time and place.

Now, let's talk workout.

Gotta give props to D.Meyer for telling me to adjust my footing during squats. For the last two weeks my knee felt like it was popping out of my socket. Today I rotated my left foot a little and boom! No pain. Well except the pain of heavy squats. Which sucked.

Also I believe I've reached the end of my endurance for shoulder press. I don't think I can do 150 pounds, which is my next progression. I'm thinking deload week soon here.

Today's WOD, seven rounds of seven reps each of wall-balls and pull-ups, followed by a 200 meter run.

I slacked hard today. Used the 10 pound ball and ran like a slug during the 200 meter. Pull-ups were okay but I was slow during those too.

Derek and Marcus hit it hard and were done before I finished my sixth round.

I need to get it going again. But I need some sort of motivation. Maybe to be in top shape for the Warrior Dash?

It's coming up in March and it looks like Marcus and Ken are my running mates from RFM.

A good crew that I will probably not be able to keep up with for long. Maybe I should be training hard for that.

Whatever. If you find my motivation, let me know where it is.

I need it. Badly.

Later crew,

Rod

I hate cardio but I love ice cream

Remember drumstick ice cream cones?

Well those crafty ice cream makers came out with new ones, with different kinds of filling.

You can buy a box and they have drumsticks with caramel and chocolate oozing in the middle once you take a bite. There's even one made out of chocolate ice cream instead of vanilla.

How do I know? Because hungry fat bastard that I am, I bought some.

Yup. So much for the paleo diet. Sheesh.

My gut grows then it shrinks then it grows again. Oh man.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Ok. Start now.

No more starch, sugar or dairy. Nope.

There, that was easy.

Now then, my legs friggin hurt.

All we've been doing is air squats and they still hurt. Yesterday was "Cindy", which was 5 pull-ups, 10 push-ups and 15 air squats. After you do three rounds of that you run 200 meters.

Sounds okay right. Oh wait, did I mention that after you do the first three rounder you keep going? Yup. Just keep on going until the time expires. Ugh.

I flew through the pull-ups and push-ups but those squats were a burner. After the workout Lori tells me, "Oh those squats were the easiest part!"

Yeah, if you have legs like the Hulk and are only a flower plant from the ground then it's easy. Don't talk to me about squats Lori. The sight of you zipping up and down at light speed drove me nuts Tuesday.

Today's workout didn't look too bad either but it was frustrating. Five power cleans then 30 double unders.

The five power cleans were cake but the double unders took forever. Kehau took pity on me and loaned me her most excellent jump rope which helped me considerably. I'm going to have to get one for myself. It sort of made a difference. Instead of doing one and two and three double unders I did four and five and eight.

Yeah, gonna have to get one.

Just checked eBay and there's all kinds of stuff, leather ones for 8 bucks and more expensive Crossfit gear for $25. Gary said he got a pretty cool cable one for $15.

There's even a cool looking "Muay Thai" jump rope for $14. Yeah.

It's hard to buy something without trying it first though. Maybe a trip to Sports Authority is in order.

Whoa! Digital "ropeless" jump rope! Perfect! No more tripping on the ropes!

Ah well, I'll figure it out.

One last thing. A bunch of the RFMers are heading over to Oahu for the "Warrior Dash" in March. It's a crazy race involving crawling through the mud, jumping over fire and climbing ropes over walls.

Sweet, where do I sign up?

Late,

Rod

UPDATE*******************************

All the 9 a.m. slots are filled for the Warrior Dash. Anybody going to enter the 9:30 race from RFM? Anyone? Anyone? Who wants in on the 9:30 a.m. I Hate Cardio team? Let me know, I ain't running without some backup in my heat.

Don't call it a comeback (seriously, don't)

You might have noticed that this blog has not been updated for a while. And if you workout at RFM you might have noticed that I haven't been in for a while.

Well I had a legit reason which I can explain with this equation: work + illness = zombie.

Yeah, I went to work sick, tried to work from home while I was sick and then went to work when I thought I wasn't sick anymore and made it worse.

All of this took place over the course of two weeks. Needless to say Crossfit was sort of the last thing on my mind.

But I finally made it back on Friday and surprise surprise, it sucked. Back squats felt EXTRA heavy and I was supposed to be doing 250 pounds. WTF ever. Not. I dropped down to 225 and that felt like a million pounds. The WOD wasn't that bad, run 200 meters, 3 squat cleans, 5 push presses and as many sit ups as you can do in whatever time is remaining with the 2 minutes and 30 seconds that they give you. Three rounds. My abs hurt like hell all weekend but it felt good to finally get back in there.

Then I came back today, Monday, and had to face the back squats again. I told Marcus that it felt like I was on another planet where the gravity was greater. I dropped down again to 185 and barely cranked out 8 reps.

You know, for a while there I was doing okay on the squats. My reps were low but I kept on adding 5 pounds every workout like we were supposed to and I cranked out five reps at least. It's hard to get all that work back now, feels like I have to start all over again.

Maybe that's why I was determined not to embarrass myself on the WOD. Today was run 400 meters and come back and do 30 shoulder to overhead presses and then run the 400 again.

The trick was, if you put your bar down at all you had to do burpees. Thank God Kehau said we could rest the bar behind our necks, otherwise I think I would have been screwed.

So I threw on 115 and we got ready to run. Marcus and Alex zoomed ahead and I was in third but tried not to fall behind too much. Then we got back to the gym and it was time to lift. I pumped out about 8, had to rest behind the neck then cranked out another five reps. More rest behind the neck then five more and more rest. After that I think I only had enough strength for two reps before I went behind the neck again each time.

It was kind of a blur but I hit 30 and not once did I put it down and do burpees. (HAH!!! I SPIT IN YOUR EYE IN DEFIANCE BURPEE GODS!!! I DEFY YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!)

Anyway I ran out and it felt like I was running with football shoulder pads because my delts were so stiff and swollen. About halfway to the 200 meter mark I thought I heard footsteps and I ran a little faster. I thought to myself, "Marcus, that bastard."

Marcus is a young man who can still drink all day and Crossfit all evening. He's strong and fast and I knew he was catching up, even without looking behind me. I got to the halfway mark and sure enough, he had caught up and then passed me on the way back.

I kept up behind him and then foolishly started running faster, trying to match his speed. I think I caught him off guard because he actually let me run with him for a while, then accelerated. I kept running with him until the turn into the parking lot and I lost whatever it was that kept me going. I was gassed. I walked the last several meters and came in around 6:02 or something.

I told Marcus later that I should have just kept on running behind him and "drafted" him, like Tom Cruise in Days of Thunder, then pull out with a blast of speed at the end.

I'll be the first to say I can't run with the young ones anymore, but it feels good to push every once in a while.  It did feel good to see the surprise on Marcus' face as I tried to pass him.

Not as good as it felt NOT to do burpees of course. Ha.

On another note.

Whatever I did to lose that weight prior to Vegas in August is something I need to do again. Not sure where I got the self discipline but I did it. Need to reach deep down inside and . . . just do it. It's not hard. It's not like I'm fighting a heroin addiction.

Water. Vegetables. Protein. That's all I need.

Right?

Right.

Outta here gang, good to be back. Later.

Rod

UPDATE**************

How could I forget? Kehau is NOT Maui's strongest woman anymore. What the hell? I get sick and she competes and doesn't win? Do you know what this means for my blog? No more teasing her that she's a mutant Samoan/Tongan hybrid who is stronger than the normal human woman (or man for  that matter). Actually from what I understand the contest ended in a tie and Kehau conceded rather than be late for the Barbells for Boobs fundraiser. What a girl. So in her honor I will continue to refer to her as Maui's strongest woman. After all, Kats did dress up as Tehau for Halloween. We cannot let her alter-ego die. Tehau must live on even though Kehau fell short. KIDDING. don't hurt me please

Don't let 'em fool ya

So, we had two back to back workouts which totally surprised me.
The first because it didn't look that bad but totally wiped me out. I'm talking about mini-Hiroshima.
The second because it looked like hell but then wasn't actually that bad.
I know, weird right?
So let's start with Tuesday. The WOD was 20-15-10-5 reps of pull-ups, sit-ups, push-ups and air squats. No weight and no running and barely any legs. I mean, even I can do air squats.
So everybody is thinking they're going to blaze through this. Plus Kristi pairs me up with a new guy, Steve, so I'm thinking I gotta do real good to show the rookie how it's done.
So Steve goes first and he's doing good. Does the first 10 pull-ups then switches to the rings. I'm trying to be a good partner, I set up his sit-up mat and I'm counting all his reps. I'm also trying to be supportive and yelling at him, you know, "C'mon Steve let's go" and that sort of thing. Of course the next day Kristi tells me that this was the guy's first day and that he had knee problems etc etc. I didn't know that, geez. I figured if he was in the regular class he was all done with Elements and that I was supposed to be pushing him. I was sorta in Fight Gone Bad mode but it's all programmed into us by now.
Anyway I'm getting sidetracked. So Steve does his thing and he does well I thought. So now it's my turn.
The clock hits zero and I start pull-ups. The first 10 are easy and the second 10 are a little harder but I make it through. I blaze through sit-ups and push-ups and do relatively well at air squats but then I realize that after that, 15 reps is still a lot.
The second round goes by MUCH slower as far as pull-ups go. I still hit the sit-ups and push-ups fairly quickly and the air squats too. Then the 10 rep round and I'm hurtin. Arms barely going up and down and it takes forever to get my pull-ups done. Steve's trying to say some words of encouragement but I couldn't hear him. I jump down and start the sit-ups and I'm literally farting to get those done but I don't care that I'm ripping toots left and right by then. The push-ups are tough and I have to rest a couple of times. Air squats suck and then it's the five rep round. I have to use rubber bands for the last five pull-ups and the rest of it was just a blur.
Afterwards I was rolling on the ground and looking for air, as if it was a small penny and somewhere on the floor. It must have been because oxygen didn't seem to be in the air I was breathing. I thought this is what it must be like when a semi-truck hits you and you're lying down on the side of the road waiting for someone to call 911. Derrick was winded too and I know Ikaika was somewhere nursing bleeding hands. The workout only lasted 5 to 10 minutes but afterwards it was like we had all stepped on a land mine and were looking around for our body parts.
Then comes Wednesday.
On the board I see the barbell complex that I had done once before. Power clean + front squat + push press + back squat + push press = one rep. We had to do three rounds of five reps with jump rope double-unders to end the complex with.
This looked terrible. I slapped on 95 pounds and expected the worst. But it wasn't that bad. I mean, yeah, my double-unders sucked but overall the complex didn't kill me like Tuesday's workout did. I'm sure a wiser person would have some sort of moral of the story at this point but the only thing I know is that my body doesn't hurt from the complex but my left arm STILL hurts from those pull-ups. Damn.  By the way Steve if someone shows you this blog just know that I wasn't trying to kill you. At RFM that's how we show we care.
Have a good rest day gang, peace,

Rod

So many ways to hurt you

I realized something the other day, as I was out of breath and drooling on the gym floor, hoping that the burning in my legs would stop.

Crossfit workouts almost never generate the same kind of pain twice.

Did you ever notice that? There are all kinds of ways to suffer, take for example Wednesday's workout.

The workout was 50 thrusters, 40 double unders, 30 kettlebell swings, 20 lunges with weight and 10 burpees.

Obviously this was going to be hard. I prepared myself to suffer greatly.

But man, it was a different kind of pain. My legs felt like they were on fire and I felt like I was going to throw up.

This was different from Monday's workout, when my legs felt numb and refused to bend after the second front squat set.

As I sit here I'm trying to recall all the different ways that I've suffered at RFM. Let's see . . .

- there's crippling back pain
- burning leg pain
- numbing leg pain
- burning lungs
- nauseous stomach/puking
- trembling forearms
- wasted shoulder muscles
- unable to make a fist because of too many pull-ups, farmer carries, etc

Looking over my past blog entries I found more descriptions

- sore wrists from bending your hands backwards for front squats
- "Crossfit Amnesia", when you're so exhausted you forget to count your reps
- the special pain you get from using the rollers for the first time

Ah yes, memories.

By the way, I got stopped by another blog fan who is NOT an RFM member. In fact, he was never an RFM member! Unreal. Thanks Gino.

So Gino works at the County building in Public Works and says he's been reading my blog because he's interested in Crossfit and was doing some research. He says he drives by RFM every once in a while and sees us train but hasn't joined.

WHAT'S WRONG GINO??? We don't bite, I mean, Lori may hit you occasionally and Kehau may push your car and Patty may try to smack you in the face with a basketball but otherwise we're all pretty harmless. The guys anyway. The chicks are kinda intense so just stay out of their way.

Alright guys, see you at the Friday workout,

Rod

Bump ain't messin around

You know, I got to a point here at RFM where I just figured that any workout is doable so long as you just keep on going. Just don't give up.

But today was NOT one of those days. Good God.

Today we did four rounds of five power cleans, five push presses and five front squats.

The kicker was that every minute we did five burpees too.

The first round sucked. The second round I barely finished in time before having to do the burpees. The third round took a minute for each set of five.

It was impossible to catch up once you got tired. How the hell Ikaika did that WOD in four minutes AND use 115 lbs (I used 95 lbs) is a freaking unreal accomplishment. Actually now that I think about it you almost HAD to do that workout really fast and get it over with before the burpees start sucking the life out of you.

The defining moment of the day was when Ken, who is a pretty good athlete, laid down on the ground and yelled, "I can't feel my legs!"

If anyone knows Ken you know he's not the type of guy to scream. He barely talks. But I think for him it was round two or three when his body came to a grinding halt.

For me it was round three, just as I was about to do the front squats. I just couldn't do it. My legs would not go down for more squats. I quit before I even started the fourth round. It. Was. Not. Happening.

I was impressed with Ken though, because after he screamed he finished all four rounds. Later on he told me that in order to do that he didn't do any more burpees.

Eliminate burpees, what a great idea. Wish I had thought of that. Seriously though, that was a painful lesson in reality. I definitely did not plan that very well.

That's it. I'm going to have to do something drastic. Like . . . ask for more burpees and thrusters after our regular workout.

I know, I should change the name of this blog to "I hate myself" if I'm going to put myself through something like that. It's like Vegas all over again, except instead of extra cardio I'm asking for extra conditioning against pain. It's the only way I'm going to get better at this.

You're thinking, Rod, are you insane? More burpees and thrusters?

Attack your weaknesses right?

How much do you think I'm going to hate myself tomorrow? I'm thinking a lot.

Later gang,

Rod

Another Whole 30 . . . or something like that

Today I start eating properly again. Yesterday was filled with Taco Bell, ice cream and Home Maid bakery goodies in preparation for this day.

But this is not the original Whole 30 paleo diet. I still plan on having a beer. Or two. It is October and there is football, Halloween, birthday parties and various other celebrations and libations to partake of out there.

Speaking of which, I had a good time at the First Friday last week. It was fun and mellow at the same time with my fellow RFMer's. Kehau, Patty and Ikaika and I hung out. We ate and drank and just talked as we walked around Market Street. The subjects were varied and included:

- Why Rainbow Park is the scariest of all parks on Maui
- How people get down and let loose at Miki's house
- Why Friday night's workout really sucked

Yes, I was pleased to note that Ikaika and I both had the same problem with the Seventh Heaven workout, which was 7 overhead squats followed by 7 burpees for 7 rounds.

Did we mention we did back squats prior to the workout? Is anyone surprised? Of course not.

Ikaika's back was hurting so he did front squats instead of overhead squats but still, the result was the same.

We both finished the first round of overhead and did our first rep of burpees and then fell down.

Seriously. My legs just gave out. And when I mean they gave out I mean my leg muscles turned into solid lead.

Again, this was on the first rep of the first round. Only had 48 more reps to go.

I don't know about Ikaika but at the time the only thing going through my mind was, "Really?"

I'm not sure how I made it through that workout. I just gritted my teeth and squatted, then tried to do something that barely resembled a proper burpee.

So you know how a burpee is supposed to look like right? You squat, get into plank position and do a push up, then get back into squat position and jump back up.

Well mine looked like this instead:

- I had a seizure and collapsed
- After drooling on the floor I became intoxicated and attempted to stand
- Once upright (somewhat) I tried to jump over an invisible credit card and failed

Somehow I made it through, showered and came back to Wailuku and met the gang for First Friday. Walking around with my RFMers and shooting the breeze afterwards took my mind off the pain. We drank a little and ate some cheap thai food and I bought the greasiest, grossest, most disgusting bibinka I have ever eaten.

Another reason why I'm going on paleo. Whatever works to motivate you right?

Hope to see you all at the next First Friday. Maybe a Fourth Friday excursion to Paia? Anyone?

Later gang,

Rod

Ikaika gives up and I praise God, running scared and how Kehau improves my ratings

On Tuesday we had a funky workout day. For strength we practiced clean and jerks and then for the WOD we were supposed to do "one C&R the first minute, two C&R's the second minute, three the third minute" and so on and so forth.

Foolishly I fell into the RFM trap and thought, "Eh, that's not bad, right?"

Yeah, I know. When will I learn? Obviously never.

So if you don't know what a clean and jerk is, it's this. You power clean it to your shoulders from the floor then jerk it up above your head. Two step motion but you can generate a lot of power and lift some serious weight with it.

Ikaika and I got up to 115 lbs during practice and when the WOD came around he jumped to 135 lbs. I considered this for like a whole minute then chickened out. Lucky me.

We start the WOD and yeah, it was easy. In the beginning.

Then we hit four C&R's and you start noticing that the minute keeps getting shorter and shorter. By the time we hit seven there was two seconds left before we had to start on round 8.

I was not feeling it but I figured there was no way I could give up if Ikaika was going to do round 8 too AND had 20 pounds more than I did on the bar. But then from behind me I heard him throw down his weight and say the magic words.

"I'm done."

I was freakin estatic. I had picked up my bar in anticipation of the eighth round and threw it down too.

So that was Tuesday.

Then Wednesday we had a really basic WOD. Run 400 meters, do descending reps of push-ups (21, 18, 15, 12, 9, 6, 3) and then the reverse ascending order for sit-ups, then run another 400 meters.

Looking up at the chart I knew that in the past I've done two sets of 20 push-ups without resting so hopefully I could get the 21 and 18 rep sets out of the way fast. I looked around and saw that my only competition was Derek who already told me that he would rather do burpees than push-ups. Crazy talk. Of course I would have to keep my eye out for Kehau too.

Mostly I was worried about the ending 400 meter run. I was imagining that even if I finished the push-ups and sit-ups ahead of Derek, unless I was already coming back for my last 200 meters that bastard would catch up and pass me. It's funny, in a lot of ways Derek and I are opposites of each other when it comes to our Crossfit strengths and weaknesses. Today I was going to have to exploit his weakness and make sure that he didn't have enough time to take advantage of mine.

Anyway, we started the WOD and sure enough, mostly everyone runs off ahead of me. But when I got back to the gym I blazed through the 21 push-ups, did the 3 sit-ups and then blazed through 18 more push-ups.

After that I looked around and was pretty sure I was ahead of everyone. Now I just had to power through and keep up the pace. Having Kehau workout next to me was a good motivator because she kept on blazing through the sit-ups and I knew if I didn't watch out that she'd catch up eventually.

For a while I just shut my eyes and kept going. Those last 21 sit-ups took forever though and I was actually happy to get up and run the 400.

I was first out of the gym but kept on expecting to hear footsteps and feel a "whoosh" of wind and see Derek sprint past. I looked back once but didn't see him. It wasn't until I hit the half way mark and was heading back that I saw him coming up the street and felt the fear.

Because let's face it, he's that fast and I'm that slow.

I didn't have quite enough in me to sprint all out at that point but I think I got up to 70 percent. Even when I was turning the corner to run back into our parking lot I still had to turn around to see if he was behind me.

I hit the gym at 10:20 and sure enough, Derek came sprinting in afterwards not too far behind.

All I gotta say is, "Whew."

And finally . . . I've noticed that nobody posts any comments UNLESS I mention Kehau in my blog.

Or more specifically, unless I somehow tease or mock Kehau in my blog.

C'mon guys, seriously? Are you all just a bunch of high school kids waiting for your friend to tease some poor soul? I'm offended.

Well the joke is on YOU!!!  I'm going to mock everyone else at RMF today. Ha. See how you like it.

Here we go, mostly I'm going to stick to the people I see at 5 and 6. Some personal slap-downs for each one of you:

- Derek: Kehau is stronger than you

- Ikaika: Kehau is stronger than you and has more hair

- Carol: You scare me when you yell

- Rikki: Your damn pink shoes blind me

- Bumper: I still think about your high school mullet

- Craig: Your wife is stronger than you

- Nalani: You are stronger than your husband

- Bob: You're not going to read this so I'm not going to waste my time

- Gary: Ditto

- Kalaheo: You look like you have neck injuries

- Kristi: I still think about your fiance's mullet

- Patty: I thought Alex was your brother.

- Alex: I think about your high school mullet.

- Oran: You're hairy. Don't arrest me.

- Heidi: Um, you're . . tall . . .

- Val: Uhhhh . . .

- Glenn: Um . . . your . . . gray colored Innovates are . . . boring

- Lori: Kehau is . . . actually I'm not sure who's stronger

- Kats: Your name is Kats

See Kehau, I'm not all about teasing you. Now give me the keys so I can open up at 4:30.

Thanks!

Rod

Let me be the keymaster

Because I start work early and because my office is in Wailuku, I usually get to RFM first. Say at around 4:35 p.m. (barring late meetings of course).

That said, it only makes sense that I have a key to the gym. No?

I could open it up early, let everybody change clothes and stretch and be ready for the coach when he or she wants to start the warm-up promptly at 5 p.m.

Plus no outsiders are going to want to come and harass me if I'm at the gym alone. I'm just not harassable. Plus even if they do come by I'll scare them away with the following key phrases:

"Wanna join the gym? No? Then get the hell out."

"Sure you can stay but I'm working out nude. That way I can focus on my technique."

"The gym has helped me become much more stable. I haven't had a psychotropic episode in months."

"Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"


It'll work, trust me.

Make me keymaster!

Rod

Handstand Reality Check

Wow.

You know, you think you're good at something and then . . .

Today's WOD was 21, 15, 9 reps of handstand pushups and kettlebell squats.

I've said it over and over again about how handstand pushups are my thing. But 21 reps of anything is . . . tough.

I hit 15 and then had to do 2 at a time. Then when 15 came up I was doing something like 2 or 1 at a time.

The shoulders were shot. Doing shoulder presses for strength didn't help either but that's how we roll at RFM.

I wasn't even phased by the KB squats. I couldn't even believe it. I felt like my body betrayed me.

Ikaika was like, "See? What did I tell you? HSPU's were killer today."

Yeah, I gotta admit he was right. That might have been one of the longest first sets that I have ever done. Or as Ikaika put it, I couldn't wait to get off that wall tonight.

Just goes to show you, be careful for what you ask for, you might just get it.

Been a helluva week back gang. I can't wait for till my body gets somewhat reconditioned to RFM soon. This week off has been brutal trying to get back.

In the meantime, I've finally gotten those Fight Gone Bad photos off my phone. Here we go . . .

 Ah yes, here we are receiving instructions from our fearless leader . . . 

 I'm sure he's giving out some important instructions, but I was busy taking pics

 Did I mention that Rikki was a ham for the camera? Just in case you didn't notice

Got the stairway shot of Kristi demonstrating wall balls, which were the most hated station

 Here's Val jumping. As you can tell my cell phone camera doesn't do so well with motion

I think this is . . . who the hell is this? 

 Okay someone help me out here, she's just too fast for the camera to capture

 I can only imagine this conversation, "This is going to suck babe, sorry."

"See, told you."

 At this point I finally got smart and waited for them to stop moving before I took a pic. Nice Rikki.

 Nalani push pressing 

 This might be the only real good non-blurry action shot I got

 Did manage to catch Shauna at the top of the box jumps, that was cool. 

 Ah Kats, he loves to smile. Won't be for long though.

 See what I mean?

 See how busy I am taking pictures? Probably why I missed counting some of Kats' reps

Fight Gone Bad. Hate it and love it at the same time. Mostly hate it, especially the wall balls

By the way, props to Carol and Rikki for maintaining their blog. What's up Kehau? You are cardio blog bogging. It's not like pushing a Hyundai you know, you gotta work at it. 

Enjoy the pictures gang, 

Rod

I have met the enemy and his name is "stairs"

So, I was sitting here contemplating what today's blog should be about. We just did a WOD consisting of five rounds of a 400 meter run and 15 overhead squats and I was thinking, "You know that kinda sucked but I don't feel too bad right now."

Then I tried to stand up.

HOLY GOD PLEASE MAKE THE PAIN STOP!!!

The above thought flashed through my mind as my quads seized with stabbing pain. Then I tried walking up the stairs to the kitchen and of course the pain was worse.

And as many of you know, the second and third days are worse after a workout. I'm not looking forward to getting out of bed tomorrow.

Squats suck. That's all I gotta say.

Prior to this I was looking over Ikaika's shoulder in order to read the events of the Maui Strong Man competition. Didn't look too bad at first but then I took a closer look to what was posted online when I got home. The competition includes:

- a 50 meter car push, a Hyundai sedan for women and a Honda Ridgeline for men. On a flat surface? Can do.
- a three inch barbell hold, 225 pounds for men. What's a barbell hold? I looked it up online and you hold a weighted bar. I'm not sure how long I could just hold 225. A minute? Thirty seconds? Maybe I'll try tomorrow.
- a Farmer's Walk consisting of carrying 500 pounds for 50 meters. WTH? Five hundred pounds? What are they supposed be carrying? A Volkswagon Beetle?
- A Sandbag Sprint for 100 meters. Guys carry a really awkward looking 200 pound sandbag (I watched the video online) back and forth. Kinda looked like it sucked.
- A one armed barbell lift of 135 pounds. That looked really tricky. Gonna have try that at the gym for sure.
- The stone lift, consisting of lifting a rock weighing around 40 to 600 pounds. Small kine big range for the weight yeah?

As you can tell, I'm interested. I wonder . . .

Gotta think about this, later gang,

Rod

No workout for one week leaves one weak

A long time ago (as in back in high school) while reading a Muscle and Fitness magazine I read this one line about what it means to skip a workout:

"Think about it like picking up a bag of beans. Missing a workout means you spill all those beans and have to start picking them up all over again."

For years that saying would bounce back and forth in my head over and over again. I thought it was a stupid metaphor to use but it stuck with me for some reason.

Then I started Crossfit and that stupid metaphor made sense. Because now when I miss a RFM workout it feels like I really really effed up somehow. Nevermind that I had to go to Oahu for work. (And no I didn't have time to go to Hard Ass Fitness. And when I say I had no time I meant I was busy sleeping in the hotel room.)

Anyway, today sucked as you can tell. It was my first day back since the Fight Gone Bad workout and eating like crap for two weeks. Here are the highlights:

(1) I did so badly at back squats that Kehau coined a new phrase to describe my lack of intensity which she coined "cardio bogging." She said I had a lot more reps in me even though I was breathing hard and that I should have kept going. Maybe after I get another week under my belt.

(2) Ikaika and I pondered throwing on 115 instead of 105 for the WOD, which was 8 minutes of AMRAP of 4 deadlifts, 3 front squats, 2 push presses and 1 six point burpee. The front squats killed and I thanked the RFM gods above that I kept those extra 10 pounds off.

(3) My hands hurt. My hands never hurt. One of my fingers feels like someone hit it with a hammer. Ow.

On another note, I got Rikki's profile done! I'll send it over to Bump and Kristi and hopefully they can give it the okay and post it. Who wants to be next?

Actually I'll post my own bio here so that you folks can see the format. Plus I think if you see that I'm mostly harmless you'll all start to send me your info, right? Here goes:

Name: Rod “No Squats” Antone

Occupation: I write sometimes

Hails From: Paia, Maui then Boulder, Colorado then Honolulu, Oahu then Yakima, Washington then Albuquerque, New Mexico then Budapest, Hungary (six weeks) then back to sweet old Paia, Maui 20 years later.

Likes To: Spend time with his son Rylen, now aged 6, when he is here visiting from the mainland. Also a Netflix addict and professional Oakland Raiders fan.

Favorite Workout: Anything that does not involve the lower body.

Unfavorite Workout: Thrusters and burpees and wall balls. Oh my.

 Started at RFM: July 2010 then quit for a month then rejoined in September.

Rod started working out at age 15 when he realized that girls liked muscles. At age 25 he realized weights weren’t enough because it didn’t burn off all the beer he was drinking. He ignored the problem until age 38 when he met Bumper at their class reunion and realized it was now or never.

RFM changed my life. It’s changed my body and my mindset. I’ve drank the Kool-aid and I want more.

Seriously though, I’m not sure where I would be if I had not joined. It’s also forced me to  take a look at my diet all of the crap I’ve been digesting over the years. Nowadays I experience bliss just by working out at RFM, taking a shower, then driving back into town with the window down and letting the air cool me off. There’s nothing like it.

Later,

Rod

Fight Gone Bad goes well and why I haven't finished Rikki's profile yet

This Saturday we held the "Fight Gone Bad" workout at the gym. It was part get together, part fundraiser and part competition all rolled up into one. Lahaina Crossfit was there, Upcountry Crossfit and that other Crossfit in Kahului, I forget what it's called though.

So we all cram into the gym and they do the workout in four heats. The first two are scaled down versions of the workout which goes like this: wall balls, rowing machine, push presses, box jumps and power cleans for a minute each. Three rounds total.

This was actually one of my first workouts at RFM last year. I remember doing the scaled down version and sucking wind.

This time I got to do the regular version. It wasn't until later that I realized this. I'm actually happy about that now. On Saturday I was not.

Going last also sucked but I was in good company. It was Lori, Frank and Jun in my heat along with the Crossfitters from other gyms. We ran two people per station and there was a guy named Adam next to me, getting ready to row. He was a lean dude and looked like he was in good shape so I was sorta worried that he might blow past me.

Thankfully I was prepared to row via a crash course from Kehau. We had done those hard core one minute rows before I went to Vegas and so I had the technique down. I didn't eat anything except breakfast that day because I was afraid I was going to puke up lunch if I ate later.

In other words, I was ready. Or thought so anyway.

And then it started.

I kept on trying to look over to see how many calories Adam  was burning but the display was too small. I figured as long as I hit double digits I'd be okay.

From there I went to push presses which was the place that I knew I'd get most of my reps. I had hoped to do 30 per round but I think I might have done 20 to 25 instead. I just couldn't crank out more.

Box jumps sucked of course. I wish I could jump up and down at light speed like Derek. Jun is a stud at this too, guy has serious hops.
 
Power cleans were actually pretty hard. I thought I'd be repping them out like I did the push presses but I had a hard time making it past 10 reps.

The wall balls just plain sucked. I hate those things almost as much as I do thrusters. Come to think of it, it's the same damn motion as thrusters, we just use a medicine ball instead of weights. Ending the round with wall balls was nothing short of evil. I looked over at that guy Adam and he was blown out too. And that was just the first round.

At some point during the second round all the men in my heat took off our shirts. I needed to breathe better no matter what and I didn't care if anyone got a good look at my flab at that point.

By round three I stopped trying to keep up with Adam. He was ahead of me but I had no idea by how much. I did know that he was kicking my ass in box jumps and power cleans though. I was trying to make up for it with more push presses but my shoulders could only do so much.

When the third round was over I went to the ground. Frank was there already and it made me feel good. Fight Gone Bad had even taken him down.

And then I realized it. I just did the same workout as Frank. Same weights, same rounds, same time. He probably had reps in the 700 range of course while I had 215 but it still made me feel good.

In fact, I think this year's Fight Gone Bad might be the best indicator of how far I've progressed since last year. Sure I've got back problems and squat less than anyone in the gym besides Rocky the dog but otherwise I think I've come a long way.

The best part about it was I had gone home, showered and then went to Whole Foods to get some grub and I saw that guy Adam again. He actually thanked me. He said he kept on pushing himself because I was right there on his ass. I was almost stunned. I asked him was his rep count was and he said 258.

That's only 43 reps more than what I did. Even as I write this I still have a hard time believing it.

So thanks for pushing me too Adam. See you again next year.

Now, on to another matter.

I wanted to do some profiles for our gym members that Bump and Kristi would post on their RFM site. As I write for a living I figured it'd be a piece of cake.

I started with Rikki but had a hard time. I couldn't figure out what was wrong but then I realized, for all my years of writing for news and campaigns and public relations I never wrote anything for friends.

And Rikki was so honest and opened up to her personal reasons for joining RFM that I'm sort of handling her info like it's a fragile piece of glass.  I want to do her story justice and I'm afraid that I won't.

I know what you're thinking. "Rod you write a fitness blog that is read by 8 people. Maybe. Why worry about it?"

Yeah well the point is that I still want to do a good job. Plus it's not going on my blog it's going on the RFM blog which actually gets some web traffic. Don't worry, I'll take another crack at it this week.

I've also got some cool pics of Fight Gone Bad but it's on my new phone and for some reason I'm having difficulty downloading. I'll figure it out.

Later gang,

Rod

Push it

Yesterday we did snatch balances for 10 minutes, doing 2 reps per every minute. It's harder than it sounds, especially when you do Ikaika weight.

I know I know I know, I'm supposed to listen to my own body, let technique be my guide, etc. But when Ikaika slapped on those extra 20 pounds to bump his barbell weight up to 85 pounds I found myself doing the same. I'm a slave, I have no mind of my own, I'm sorry.

That and that crap killed my back. Which then leads me to the other part of this post.

The WOD was simple but sorta killer. Four rounds of running the 400 then coming back and doing 25 kettle bell swings.

I predicted that I would run stiff with my back totally straight and lo and behold, that is what happened.

On the last round though I tried something different. I said to myself that when I got to the halfway point I would rest for a second and walk and see if that loosened up my back, then I would run all out.

It actually worked. Sort of.

I started running fast, not totally all out but definitely not the stiff-backed jog that I was doing the three rounds prior. Not sure what happened, maybe I just needed to run it out all along.

Eventually the stiffness came back and I had to slow down but it was an interesting experiment.

Today I'm looking forward to shoulder presses and deadlifts and farmer carries. Oh my.

It's good training for running through the airport with luggage (see August post about RFM travel benefits).

Later gang,

Rod

The Hana Relay

So first thing's first. I was early to the Hana Relay.

How early? Like an hour. We were supposed to be at the KMart parking lot at 6 a.m. but I came at 5 a.m. instead.

Don't ask me why, maybe I wasn't listening. Maybe I misunderstood someone. Maybe they covered that part while I was buying Coronas for the team meeting at Sack n Save.

Here's a photo of me waiting in the car at 5 in the morning and realizing that I could have slept for another hour.

I even made my own running t-shirt, it said "Raw Fitness Maui" in the front and "I Hate Cardio" in the back.

To give you a sense of what I was going through I will also include the back and forth text messages between Kehau and I here:

Me: Eh, we meet at kmart at 5 right? Or is it the gym?
K: Kmart 6 am
Me: 6!!!!! Holy shit I'm here already. Damn it
K: Shit I'm so sorry. We were razzing Luke abt 5 am bc he got  to mtg hr late
Me: Oh man. K. Guess ill try to sleep in the car
K: You can maybe warm up :) oh man. This is classic. We always have ppl late but never early. Wow. This is for the history books.

Blah blah blah. And then I send Kehau the above pic:

K: OMG I love ur pic
Me: So glad u r happy. I'm going to run mad today, can't believe I could have had an extra hour of sleep. I'm so stupid
K: Maybe we should post our stream o texts. This is too funny. I'm dying

There was more but those were the highlights. Anyway, Ikaika is the first one there and he's not even running. He's delivering our running t-shirts which were cool "RUN RFM" which was a play on the "RUN DMC" logo.

(If you don't know who RUN DMC is stop reading my blog now and never come back. You are banned for life.)

Then Patty shows up and so does everyone else. Derek, Bump, Kalaheo, Kristi, Pat, Frank, Kehau, Kats, Lori and Ethel, Baldwin High School's female counterpart to Bump in the 90's. The gal can still run but we'll get to that later.

Soooo . . . we get running.

Pat takes the first leg then Patti. Meanwhile the rest of us jump in trucks and drive ahead to Baldwin Park where Kats gets ready to take the baton.

That's Kats in the white shirt waiting for his turn to run three miles, from Baldwin Park to Hookipa Park.

Again we drive ahead and wait. Everyone was worried about me and Kats because, well, cardio ain't our thing. Here's a view of where we were waiting for Kats at Hookipa.

I'm not sure how much time passes but at some point Kats comes into view but he's walking. Then he sees us and starts running again, God bless 'em. I wondered if I'd be doing the same thing. He crosses the line and hands off to Ethel who takes off and I ask him, "How was it?"

He answered, "That sucked."

At this point my turn was coming up soon. Ethel was running from Hookipa Park to Haiku Community Center. I was taking the baton from her and running 3.5 miles. The problem was that I wasn't sure where the hell 3.5 ended. But at this point I'm just thinking I want to survive and don't really want to think about it until it was actually my turn.

So we're waiting and then we see Ethel, and she's charging up the hill. I head up to the handoff point and then all of a sudden it's in my hand. Okay. Time to start running.

Except it's not really a run is it? I'm just jogging along. I'm concerned about my back because it was stiff before I even began but I didn't want to tell anyone. Just take it slow and easy.

Everything is all G until I get to the cemetery, then it's a long uphill fight. The worst part is that the road is uneven and my left leg has to reach a bit longer than my right. This causes my left calf to burn like a mother and my back isn't helping.

But then a strange thing happens, the road levels off and my back pain goes away and so does my burning left calf. I start hitting some sort of stride and it feels sorta good except I still don't know how far away the finish line is for me.

I try to put this out of my mind and I smell the guavas and think for a minute about my grandmother. This goes on for a while and then all of a sudden I see two figures in white t-shirts which I identify as Bumper and Derek. They tell me that the end of my run is about two hundred yards away.

Two hundred yards? That's it? But I had all this energy! I was barely sweating!

Seems I had paced myself a little too well and I took so long that my friends came looking for me. Damn it.

So for the last two hundred yards I sprint and try to get tired. A familiar feeling comes back to me and I feel like I do at the gym if I use a weight that's too light for the WOD. I should have pushed myself more, I could have done better.

But my leg is over and so is my part of the race. For the rest of the day we travel in the truck and I cheer my friends. I eat that chicken and drink that beer and we have a good time but I don't feel like writing about it. Maybe next year I'll be better prepared for the Hana Relay.

In the meantime, here's a few more pics for memories. Here we have Bump and Derek hiding under the towel in the back of the truck as the rain came down pretty hard:

And here we have Smooth Hand Luke after tearing it up on his run. There are references I could make here of Luke being too sexy for his shirt but I won't go there. We pick on him enough as it is.

Here we have Derek, Ethel and Kristi posing for the camera. If I'm not mistaken Derek's getting ready to run leg 12. 

Ethel stretching on a wall somewhere. I think by this time she had run twice already.

Here Kehau scarfs down Patty's tuna mix. That stuff was pretty awesome, wish we had more crackers.

That's it guys, those are my Hana Relay pics and my experience on the run. Next year I'll be better prepared for sure.

Great Aloha Run anyone? Only 8.8 miles?

Let me know.

Later gang,

Rod