Thursday, October 20, 2011

Don't let 'em fool ya

So, we had two back to back workouts which totally surprised me.
The first because it didn't look that bad but totally wiped me out. I'm talking about mini-Hiroshima.
The second because it looked like hell but then wasn't actually that bad.
I know, weird right?
So let's start with Tuesday. The WOD was 20-15-10-5 reps of pull-ups, sit-ups, push-ups and air squats. No weight and no running and barely any legs. I mean, even I can do air squats.
So everybody is thinking they're going to blaze through this. Plus Kristi pairs me up with a new guy, Steve, so I'm thinking I gotta do real good to show the rookie how it's done.
So Steve goes first and he's doing good. Does the first 10 pull-ups then switches to the rings. I'm trying to be a good partner, I set up his sit-up mat and I'm counting all his reps. I'm also trying to be supportive and yelling at him, you know, "C'mon Steve let's go" and that sort of thing. Of course the next day Kristi tells me that this was the guy's first day and that he had knee problems etc etc. I didn't know that, geez. I figured if he was in the regular class he was all done with Elements and that I was supposed to be pushing him. I was sorta in Fight Gone Bad mode but it's all programmed into us by now.
Anyway I'm getting sidetracked. So Steve does his thing and he does well I thought. So now it's my turn.
The clock hits zero and I start pull-ups. The first 10 are easy and the second 10 are a little harder but I make it through. I blaze through sit-ups and push-ups and do relatively well at air squats but then I realize that after that, 15 reps is still a lot.
The second round goes by MUCH slower as far as pull-ups go. I still hit the sit-ups and push-ups fairly quickly and the air squats too. Then the 10 rep round and I'm hurtin. Arms barely going up and down and it takes forever to get my pull-ups done. Steve's trying to say some words of encouragement but I couldn't hear him. I jump down and start the sit-ups and I'm literally farting to get those done but I don't care that I'm ripping toots left and right by then. The push-ups are tough and I have to rest a couple of times. Air squats suck and then it's the five rep round. I have to use rubber bands for the last five pull-ups and the rest of it was just a blur.
Afterwards I was rolling on the ground and looking for air, as if it was a small penny and somewhere on the floor. It must have been because oxygen didn't seem to be in the air I was breathing. I thought this is what it must be like when a semi-truck hits you and you're lying down on the side of the road waiting for someone to call 911. Derrick was winded too and I know Ikaika was somewhere nursing bleeding hands. The workout only lasted 5 to 10 minutes but afterwards it was like we had all stepped on a land mine and were looking around for our body parts.
Then comes Wednesday.
On the board I see the barbell complex that I had done once before. Power clean + front squat + push press + back squat + push press = one rep. We had to do three rounds of five reps with jump rope double-unders to end the complex with.
This looked terrible. I slapped on 95 pounds and expected the worst. But it wasn't that bad. I mean, yeah, my double-unders sucked but overall the complex didn't kill me like Tuesday's workout did. I'm sure a wiser person would have some sort of moral of the story at this point but the only thing I know is that my body doesn't hurt from the complex but my left arm STILL hurts from those pull-ups. Damn.  By the way Steve if someone shows you this blog just know that I wasn't trying to kill you. At RFM that's how we show we care.
Have a good rest day gang, peace,

Rod

Friday, October 14, 2011

So many ways to hurt you

I realized something the other day, as I was out of breath and drooling on the gym floor, hoping that the burning in my legs would stop.

Crossfit workouts almost never generate the same kind of pain twice.

Did you ever notice that? There are all kinds of ways to suffer, take for example Wednesday's workout.

The workout was 50 thrusters, 40 double unders, 30 kettlebell swings, 20 lunges with weight and 10 burpees.

Obviously this was going to be hard. I prepared myself to suffer greatly.

But man, it was a different kind of pain. My legs felt like they were on fire and I felt like I was going to throw up.

This was different from Monday's workout, when my legs felt numb and refused to bend after the second front squat set.

As I sit here I'm trying to recall all the different ways that I've suffered at RFM. Let's see . . .

- there's crippling back pain
- burning leg pain
- numbing leg pain
- burning lungs
- nauseous stomach/puking
- trembling forearms
- wasted shoulder muscles
- unable to make a fist because of too many pull-ups, farmer carries, etc

Looking over my past blog entries I found more descriptions

- sore wrists from bending your hands backwards for front squats
- "Crossfit Amnesia", when you're so exhausted you forget to count your reps
- the special pain you get from using the rollers for the first time

Ah yes, memories.

By the way, I got stopped by another blog fan who is NOT an RFM member. In fact, he was never an RFM member! Unreal. Thanks Gino.

So Gino works at the County building in Public Works and says he's been reading my blog because he's interested in Crossfit and was doing some research. He says he drives by RFM every once in a while and sees us train but hasn't joined.

WHAT'S WRONG GINO??? We don't bite, I mean, Lori may hit you occasionally and Kehau may push your car and Patty may try to smack you in the face with a basketball but otherwise we're all pretty harmless. The guys anyway. The chicks are kinda intense so just stay out of their way.

Alright guys, see you at the Friday workout,

Rod

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Bump ain't messin around

You know, I got to a point here at RFM where I just figured that any workout is doable so long as you just keep on going. Just don't give up.

But today was NOT one of those days. Good God.

Today we did four rounds of five power cleans, five push presses and five front squats.

The kicker was that every minute we did five burpees too.

The first round sucked. The second round I barely finished in time before having to do the burpees. The third round took a minute for each set of five.

It was impossible to catch up once you got tired. How the hell Ikaika did that WOD in four minutes AND use 115 lbs (I used 95 lbs) is a freaking unreal accomplishment. Actually now that I think about it you almost HAD to do that workout really fast and get it over with before the burpees start sucking the life out of you.

The defining moment of the day was when Ken, who is a pretty good athlete, laid down on the ground and yelled, "I can't feel my legs!"

If anyone knows Ken you know he's not the type of guy to scream. He barely talks. But I think for him it was round two or three when his body came to a grinding halt.

For me it was round three, just as I was about to do the front squats. I just couldn't do it. My legs would not go down for more squats. I quit before I even started the fourth round. It. Was. Not. Happening.

I was impressed with Ken though, because after he screamed he finished all four rounds. Later on he told me that in order to do that he didn't do any more burpees.

Eliminate burpees, what a great idea. Wish I had thought of that. Seriously though, that was a painful lesson in reality. I definitely did not plan that very well.

That's it. I'm going to have to do something drastic. Like . . . ask for more burpees and thrusters after our regular workout.

I know, I should change the name of this blog to "I hate myself" if I'm going to put myself through something like that. It's like Vegas all over again, except instead of extra cardio I'm asking for extra conditioning against pain. It's the only way I'm going to get better at this.

You're thinking, Rod, are you insane? More burpees and thrusters?

Attack your weaknesses right?

How much do you think I'm going to hate myself tomorrow? I'm thinking a lot.

Later gang,

Rod

Monday, October 10, 2011

Another Whole 30 . . . or something like that

Today I start eating properly again. Yesterday was filled with Taco Bell, ice cream and Home Maid bakery goodies in preparation for this day.

But this is not the original Whole 30 paleo diet. I still plan on having a beer. Or two. It is October and there is football, Halloween, birthday parties and various other celebrations and libations to partake of out there.

Speaking of which, I had a good time at the First Friday last week. It was fun and mellow at the same time with my fellow RFMer's. Kehau, Patty and Ikaika and I hung out. We ate and drank and just talked as we walked around Market Street. The subjects were varied and included:

- Why Rainbow Park is the scariest of all parks on Maui
- How people get down and let loose at Miki's house
- Why Friday night's workout really sucked

Yes, I was pleased to note that Ikaika and I both had the same problem with the Seventh Heaven workout, which was 7 overhead squats followed by 7 burpees for 7 rounds.

Did we mention we did back squats prior to the workout? Is anyone surprised? Of course not.

Ikaika's back was hurting so he did front squats instead of overhead squats but still, the result was the same.

We both finished the first round of overhead and did our first rep of burpees and then fell down.

Seriously. My legs just gave out. And when I mean they gave out I mean my leg muscles turned into solid lead.

Again, this was on the first rep of the first round. Only had 48 more reps to go.

I don't know about Ikaika but at the time the only thing going through my mind was, "Really?"

I'm not sure how I made it through that workout. I just gritted my teeth and squatted, then tried to do something that barely resembled a proper burpee.

So you know how a burpee is supposed to look like right? You squat, get into plank position and do a push up, then get back into squat position and jump back up.

Well mine looked like this instead:

- I had a seizure and collapsed
- After drooling on the floor I became intoxicated and attempted to stand
- Once upright (somewhat) I tried to jump over an invisible credit card and failed

Somehow I made it through, showered and came back to Wailuku and met the gang for First Friday. Walking around with my RFMers and shooting the breeze afterwards took my mind off the pain. We drank a little and ate some cheap thai food and I bought the greasiest, grossest, most disgusting bibinka I have ever eaten.

Another reason why I'm going on paleo. Whatever works to motivate you right?

Hope to see you all at the next First Friday. Maybe a Fourth Friday excursion to Paia? Anyone?

Later gang,

Rod













Thursday, October 6, 2011

Ikaika gives up and I praise God, running scared and how Kehau improves my ratings

On Tuesday we had a funky workout day. For strength we practiced clean and jerks and then for the WOD we were supposed to do "one C&R the first minute, two C&R's the second minute, three the third minute" and so on and so forth.

Foolishly I fell into the RFM trap and thought, "Eh, that's not bad, right?"

Yeah, I know. When will I learn? Obviously never.

So if you don't know what a clean and jerk is, it's this. You power clean it to your shoulders from the floor then jerk it up above your head. Two step motion but you can generate a lot of power and lift some serious weight with it.

Ikaika and I got up to 115 lbs during practice and when the WOD came around he jumped to 135 lbs. I considered this for like a whole minute then chickened out. Lucky me.

We start the WOD and yeah, it was easy. In the beginning.

Then we hit four C&R's and you start noticing that the minute keeps getting shorter and shorter. By the time we hit seven there was two seconds left before we had to start on round 8.

I was not feeling it but I figured there was no way I could give up if Ikaika was going to do round 8 too AND had 20 pounds more than I did on the bar. But then from behind me I heard him throw down his weight and say the magic words.

"I'm done."

I was freakin estatic. I had picked up my bar in anticipation of the eighth round and threw it down too.

So that was Tuesday.

Then Wednesday we had a really basic WOD. Run 400 meters, do descending reps of push-ups (21, 18, 15, 12, 9, 6, 3) and then the reverse ascending order for sit-ups, then run another 400 meters.

Looking up at the chart I knew that in the past I've done two sets of 20 push-ups without resting so hopefully I could get the 21 and 18 rep sets out of the way fast. I looked around and saw that my only competition was Derek who already told me that he would rather do burpees than push-ups. Crazy talk. Of course I would have to keep my eye out for Kehau too.

Mostly I was worried about the ending 400 meter run. I was imagining that even if I finished the push-ups and sit-ups ahead of Derek, unless I was already coming back for my last 200 meters that bastard would catch up and pass me. It's funny, in a lot of ways Derek and I are opposites of each other when it comes to our Crossfit strengths and weaknesses. Today I was going to have to exploit his weakness and make sure that he didn't have enough time to take advantage of mine.

Anyway, we started the WOD and sure enough, mostly everyone runs off ahead of me. But when I got back to the gym I blazed through the 21 push-ups, did the 3 sit-ups and then blazed through 18 more push-ups.

After that I looked around and was pretty sure I was ahead of everyone. Now I just had to power through and keep up the pace. Having Kehau workout next to me was a good motivator because she kept on blazing through the sit-ups and I knew if I didn't watch out that she'd catch up eventually.

For a while I just shut my eyes and kept going. Those last 21 sit-ups took forever though and I was actually happy to get up and run the 400.

I was first out of the gym but kept on expecting to hear footsteps and feel a "whoosh" of wind and see Derek sprint past. I looked back once but didn't see him. It wasn't until I hit the half way mark and was heading back that I saw him coming up the street and felt the fear.

Because let's face it, he's that fast and I'm that slow.

I didn't have quite enough in me to sprint all out at that point but I think I got up to 70 percent. Even when I was turning the corner to run back into our parking lot I still had to turn around to see if he was behind me.

I hit the gym at 10:20 and sure enough, Derek came sprinting in afterwards not too far behind.

All I gotta say is, "Whew."

And finally . . . I've noticed that nobody posts any comments UNLESS I mention Kehau in my blog.

Or more specifically, unless I somehow tease or mock Kehau in my blog.

C'mon guys, seriously? Are you all just a bunch of high school kids waiting for your friend to tease some poor soul? I'm offended.

Well the joke is on YOU!!!  I'm going to mock everyone else at RMF today. Ha. See how you like it.

Here we go, mostly I'm going to stick to the people I see at 5 and 6. Some personal slap-downs for each one of you:

- Derek: Kehau is stronger than you

- Ikaika: Kehau is stronger than you and has more hair

- Carol: You scare me when you yell

- Rikki: Your damn pink shoes blind me

- Bumper: I still think about your high school mullet

- Craig: Your wife is stronger than you

- Nalani: You are stronger than your husband

- Bob: You're not going to read this so I'm not going to waste my time

- Gary: Ditto

- Kalaheo: You look like you have neck injuries

- Kristi: I still think about your fiance's mullet

- Patty: I thought Alex was your brother.

- Alex: I think about your high school mullet.

- Oran: You're hairy. Don't arrest me.

- Heidi: Um, you're . . tall . . .

- Val: Uhhhh . . .

- Glenn: Um . . . your . . . gray colored Innovates are . . . boring

- Lori: Kehau is . . . actually I'm not sure who's stronger

- Kats: Your name is Kats

See Kehau, I'm not all about teasing you. Now give me the keys so I can open up at 4:30.

Thanks!

Rod






Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Let me be the keymaster

Because I start work early and because my office is in Wailuku, I usually get to RFM first. Say at around 4:35 p.m. (barring late meetings of course).

That said, it only makes sense that I have a key to the gym. No?

I could open it up early, let everybody change clothes and stretch and be ready for the coach when he or she wants to start the warm-up promptly at 5 p.m.

Plus no outsiders are going to want to come and harass me if I'm at the gym alone. I'm just not harassable. Plus even if they do come by I'll scare them away with the following key phrases:

"Wanna join the gym? No? Then get the hell out."

"Sure you can stay but I'm working out nude. That way I can focus on my technique."

"The gym has helped me become much more stable. I haven't had a psychotropic episode in months."

"Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"


It'll work, trust me.

Make me keymaster!

Rod