Cashew clusters, Ab Ripper X and Zombiefication

So, I think Bumper is a closet sci-fi geek. Either that or he just likes zombie movies.

I mean, who doesn't. But while I love zombie movies I think Bumper only became a fan after watching Zombieland, which stresses "cardio, cardio, cardio" as a way to survive the zombie apocalypse. 

Whenever I whine (which is often) about something or ask if I'd be better off doing a non-cardio based type of excercise he points out that I need to do this or that because I'll be better prepared for the zombie infestation. This is true. 

But lately while trying to lose weight I have to admit, I'm feeling more like the zombie than the guy trying to get away from the zombie. Mac salad is my brains of choice and I am craving that crap like no tomorrow.

Instead I'm eating cashew clusters from Costco, which on the package advertises that it also includes "almonds and pumpkin seeds." Kinda filling and they have a sorta sweet taste. They're not terrible, like those effin rice cakes. Seriously, who made those? They suck.

In any case it's been kinda hard to workout more and eat less but I'm trying. Yesterday I did the heavy ropes AFTER the regular WOD and then came home and ate . . . salad and peeled the skin off of some chicken. 

You know I didn't even eat any ice cream or birthday cake on my birthday? I'm not even sure I miss it but it's just the fact that I can't have it. Kinda like how in the 8th grade you ask the girl that you're not attracted to, to dance with you because you're bored and all your other friends are dancing and she says NO. You're not really heartbroken, just annoyed. That's how my stomach feels right now.

And today is rest day but I did the P90X Ab Ripper X workout. It hurt less than when I did it on Monday. Better than just lying in bed, which is what I wanted to do when I got home from work. But now all these nuts make me feel like having . . . a beer. 

It's not just the nuts, it's my job too, which is like eating nuts because it makes me nuts. I love my job but sometimes I feel like I'm 911 dispatch and everybody is calling all the time.

But I digress. It's good to be paid. And it is good to not eat stupid stuff. Mac salad is stupid. Kale salad is not.  Then again, what if I mixed the two and then . . . 

Enough. Mayo is not my friend.

By the way, I'll be starting my interviews soon. Just know that if I call or email you HAVE to answer my questions. I work for the mayor, damn it. Plus Bump is my classmate and you WILL do burpeees if you refuse.

As they say, "resistance is futile."

Oh and one more thing. And this is pretty cool, can't believe I almost forgot.

Somebody stopped me in the parking lot at work and asked me if I was Rod (no wait, it's not what you think) and then said, "I hate cardio, right?"

I looked at her and for a second almost forgot to say, "Yeah." I couldn't believe it, I was sorta shocked and surprised and . . . pleased. Somebody who I did not recognize from my RFM classes reads my blog.

This kind of giddy happiness from being recognized may seem idiodic to most of you if you're thinking "Wait, weren't you on tv?"

Yeah yeah yeah, I know. But this is different. I started this blog and now people are reading it (besides my friends from RFM) It's cool. I was stoked. This lady made my day.

I have to admit, I was a teeny weenie bit disappointed after she explained that she wasn't TOTALLY unrelated to RFM. Apparently she used to be an RFM member and still checks the RFM blog and that's how she came across the link to I Hate Cardio.

That's okay. It was still cool.

So my dear, if you are reading, please post something and identify yourself because I forgot your name and all the old timers at RFM will be asking me for your identity.

And on that good note, it might be time to get that beer.

Later,

Rod

I feel dirty

Today I skipped the RFM workout for several reasons, (1) I forgot my shoes again, (2) it looked like a lot of squatting which I really didn't want to do and (3) I wanted to try something different.

What? Something other than Crossfit? Do tell.

Well it all started when I saw a friend's pic on Facebook and saw this guy that I went to high school with that's actually older than me. He will remain anonymous but here's the gist of it: dude had abs. Hell, he had abs on his abs.

When I asked what the hell he did for a workout I was told P90X. Damn it.

So what did I do when I came home? I popped in the Ab Ripper P90X dvd that I had stored away.

Working out and listening to the fast talking haole guy while I was sweating in my room, it just felt wrong. Yes my abs hurt and yes I may try to incorporate this into my regular workout (maybe on Thursdays) but it's juts not the same. I felt like I was having dirty sex in a cheap hotel room with my mistress. Except not in a good way.

Hmmm . . . that didn't come out right.

Anyway, after the workout (which was only 20 minutes) I tried to also do the push-up workout too but you know what? Without my coaches there to push me I only lasted five minutes on that DVD. 

So much for that little experiment. Back to the gym tomorrow.

Also, you may have noticed that I have not been writing at all on my blog. Well, it's hard. For a little while it felt like the I Hate Cardio experiment had also run its course. 

No, not really. Actually I just wanted something interesting to write about. My workouts just weren't doing it for me.

Then it hit me. My most favorite blogs were about my fellow gym members. I should do what I do best and interview all of them and post them here.

And no, I don't care if you don't want me to write about you. You signed a waiver when you signed up for RFM, it's part of the gym by-laws. Seriously, go look at it. Bumper said what? He just forgot about that clause probably.

So here's how we'll start, everybody SEND ME YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS to antonerod@live.com and we shall go from there.

Don't worry, I'll be gentle. I'll have you know that I've interviewed mayors, governors, congressmen,  senators, Bill Clinton, Michael Jackson and the entire cast of 90210 so you guys are in good hands. 

Just don't confess to any crimes and we'll be fine. Otherwise I have to call Oran and then you'll have to do a whole different kind of interview that won't be nearly as much fun.

You ready? Let's get started. 

Rod 

You gotta have some inspiration

So, not sure if anyone noticed, but I haven't been blogging lately.

It's not because I'm lazy, or haven't had time, or am not interested anymore. It's just that, I've gotta feel it when I write something. And I just haven't been inspired lately.

Sure I've had some good workouts, lots to talk about. Like I ran a 1:22 for the 400 this week. Not bad I guess. I'd like to improve for sure.

Also I managed to crank out 40 pullups on Tuesday's WOD which had us doing four rounds of running the 200 then cranking out as many reps as we could on pullups. I was slow with the run but made the most with the pullups. My biceps hurt and I was happy but still not inspired to write.

And on Wednesday I started doing double unders with some consistency. Like nine or ten at a time. I was surprised and stoked but still not in the writing mood. Yeah, I don't know, just wasn't feelin it.

I've even had some pretty good funny stuff happen. Carried Lori for the 200 on Tuesday then carried Kats (for a much shorter distance) on Wednesday. Bump is promising pain and fortune with extra cardio workouts and I'm actually looking forward to it, although I think I'll hate it when I actually start working.

Still, no inspiration.

And then I clicked on this link: http://games.crossfit.com/about-games

Watch the video. Watch these people workout. See how in shape they are. See the upside down push-ups USING THE RINGS!?!?!??!!?

Yeah baby, that's what I'm talking about. Crossfit games. I want to get there one day.

But how? How do I compete? How do I train for something like that? It seems like at my present pace I'll be 45 years old before I can even try. This is not a rip on RFM or their training by the way, I'm looking at myself and saying that this body will take some time to get into the kind of shape that it needs to be in for the games.

Is it possible? Sure. The great advantage of being me is that I'm pretty stupid when it comes to acknowledging my limits. Of course there are some drawbacks to that (see torn pectoral blog post from last year) but mostly it's a good thing.

Ok let me rephrase that, with RFM's help and guidance it is a good thing. For the most part. I think.

So, sorry it's taken so long to get inspired, but it feels great to write again. And to have a lofty goal to draw inspiration from.

While we're on the subject, what inspires you?

Let me know.

Rod

RFM members looking good, no numbers for Ikaika and why I'm too tired to hate cardio right now

First I want to shout out to Carol, Jun and Erin. They've done what I haven't, which is lose a lot of weight and lean up something fierce.

Carol has to be down at least 50 pounds and Jun and Erin 20 pounds. It's gotten to the point where I just say to people, "Paleo?" And they nod their head and say yes.

I'm on Paleo lite. I know, no excuses. Eff me.

On to other matters. Ikaika has shut me out.

Usually I take my cue from him when it comes to what weight to use for the workouts. Hey, I can do worse then try to emulate a strong, fast guy who's 10 years younger than me right? I figured he was a good benchmark. Plus I get to tease him in my blog so it makes for good material.

Yesterday though Ikaika erased his time and his weight so I was left with nothing. Bump says that my workout record notebook should be my guide. Thank you Master Po.*

*(Eighties reference to "Kung Fu", the tv series. You know, Kwai Chang Kaine, grasshopper, steal the pebble from my hand? Is anyone getting these references? You all suck.)

And finally, I knew I was going to be hurting today and so I waited until I hit the apex of pain to write my blog.

And yes, it is here. I am limping around as we speak.

In my zeal to try and get leaner and meaner I've turned to some extreme sources. Namely the RFM coaches.

First came Bump with the heavy ropes. I've still got some skin missing from that day.

Then came the prowler plus 90 pounds. I hate to admit it but that was the easiest day. I need more pounds or more rounds. Or both. (I know, I know, I'm asking for it but it's the truth.)

Then yesterday I took up with Kehau's madness. I should have known it was going to be bad, mostly because she wasn't training me, she was training herself and letting me tag along.

It was sort of like going surfing on the North Shore with a pro surfer, or jogging with a cross country marathoner. You're just struggling to stay alive.

For some reason Kehau was killing herself with the rowing machine. It's an evil beast that causes much suffering. She was rowing at 70 percent for 20 seconds, 80 percent for the next 20 then going 100 percent for the last 20. One minute of hell.

Of course, once she explained it to me I said, "Sure, sounds great." She took the time to show me how to row and all I could think was, "Your quads are HUGE and work like giant pistons and you're still tired. I'm dead."

This is probably only the second time in my life that I was afraid to workout with a female. I recall years past while I was still living on Oahu I met a gal working out at 24 Hour Fitness. I remember she was a DEA Agent and built like a bodybuilder. I had met her in the field at some drug bust or another and we got to talking. Soon we had a hiking "date" set up to do the Stairway to Heaven.

For those who don't know, the Stairway to Heaven is a hiking trail on Oahu. It was built by the military way back when and is literally a stairway up into the mountains. The hike is basically stairmaster on incline for an hour and a half.

Anyway, the end of the story was that this DEA gal wasn't even tired when we got to the top while I was heaving and wheezing. Crash and burn does not even begin to describe that debacle. Needless to say there was no second date.

With Kehau I was not worried about being embarrassed so much as I was worried about puking. We did five or six rounds of that crazy rowing. Oh, did I mention she also kept on adding 45 bumper plates so that the rowing machine was at an incline? It wasn't pretty afterwards.

But I'm hoping it'll be worth it. I think I'll ask Bump if I can do the ropes again on Friday.

By the way, if there's ever a RFM trip to Oahu I'd like to be the first to suggest a Stairway to Heaven hike. I would like the opportunity to redeem myself. Here's what we're in for:

Late,

Rod

Whole Foods parking lot rocks

A while back we were talking about stuff to do on Maui and Derek had randomly mentioned that he wanted to tailgate in the Whole Foods parking lot. For a brief second I was going to ridicule him but then thought, "That's kind of a cool idea."

See I've always thought that somebody should build a subdivision across the street from Maui Mall on the beachside. A condo at least or something. It's all industrial stuff from the harbor to before Kanaha and sorta lame. Think about it, you could live in town but next to the beach, across the street from Whole Foods and Longs and the movie theatre. Instead they got a sewer treatment plant and some other businesses. Waste of some prime real estate. Of course you'd be screwed if there was a tsunami but that's another conversation.

Anyway, the picture above is a glimpse into what life COULD be like. I ran into D at Whole Foods and we grabbed a six pack and headed back to his truck. The beer was good, the view was nice and the breeze perfect. It was one of those "life is good" moments.

I know I'm supposed to write about a workout here but I think I'm just going to leave this post as is for now. Mostly because I'm thinking about that cool breeze again and just want to lie down and daydream. Aloha gang.

Rod

Forgot the shoes, wimped out on the weight and phantom sirens

It's not often that I talk about work on this blog, but tonight I will.

Not right now though, first I talk workout.

Today I forgot my shoes. Yawn.

Nothing new, I've done this one before. Check out the blog from last year.

But it was amusing to watch the new people be amused. Gladys thought I was crazy, especially since we had to run the 200 meter six times today.

The truth is, I love running in slippers. My feet feel lighter and I feel faster. Which is weird because I have some nice New Balances and they work pretty well but I guess my feet like freedom.

So today's workout was simple but intense. Ten pushups followed by the 200 meter dash, six times.

I can crank out 10 pushups as fast as anyone not in the military and I positioned myself outside so I could take off and save that extra two seconds. I was the first off the block but of course Derek catches up no problem. Ikaika follows and before the first round is over I'm behind the two of them.

That trend stays throughout the whole WOD. I end up doing 10 minutes and something seconds I think. It wasn't too bad and I wonder now if I would have ran faster or slower with shoes. It's kind of a catch 22. My feet feel lighter but also more prone to injury. So while I run faster I also feel myself slowing down out of fear of breaking skin.

I know, I gotta commit one way or the other. Maybe the answer is to buy super light shoes.

Well I have investigated, and looked at Innov8's and those funky finger-toe shoes and everything else out there. And you know what, I found the most Crossfit props for these:

  That's right, the Adidas men's Samba. I was so surprised but apparently you can run in these and the flat surface is good for powerlifting. Not as cool as those finger-toe shoes but better than running shoes. I'm glad the classics never go out of style. These look cool with jeans too. I'm so stoked because I love buying things that are multipurpose. I can wear these suckas anywhere.

  What I'm NOT stoked about is being lame when it came to lifting weights today. We were doing the tall snatch which Jun and I were finding kinda tricky. Derek and Ikaika were lifting in the big boy section of the gym and after my sets I wandered over there to watch. Kaika slapped out 8 in a row using 135 then Derek slapped on 155 and did a couple of reps.

I walked over and picked up the weight, intending to do at least one rep and just put it right back down. It just felt too heavy. I was like, "Yeah, I won't be yanking this up on my front shoulders and squatting down. Nope. Ain't gonna do it."

Afterwards I was mad at myself. WTH? Why not? What's one rep? But I guess I just wasn't feeling it today. Lame.

In any case today was much better than the thrusters, by God yes. I was happy when I came home. Gave my son a kiss and had some dinner and veged out a little.

Then at 8:35 p.m. I started receiving calls. A lot of them. Both cell phones were going off.

Apparently the civil defense sirens started going off in Wailuku. For no apparent reason.

I'll spare the details but in 20 minutes I was as tired mentally as I was physically. No joke.

And just in case you're wondering, there was no emergency that triggered the alarm. I'm hoping they track down the problem because that's not something I want to have to do again.

And with that, let us say goodnite folks.

Rod

I'm back and so are the damn thrusters

Sorry, had a momentary lapse in sanity. I actually tried to be positive about cardio.

That wasn't working. We now return you to our regularly scheduled program.

Nah, actually I don't feel like bitching about the workout today. I'd rather say cool things about my fellow RFMers.

Today Kehau offered to get me into Vegas shape while Derek said he'd support me through another round of Paleo.

How stellar is that? When was the last time anyone from your gym wanted to do something cool for you? The only thing 24 Hour did for me was withdraw $30 a month from 1995 to 2006. That's $4,000 for what?
I could use that money at the craps table next month. VEGAS BABY VEGAS.

I need abs because in the summer everyone cruises at the pool in Vegas. Last time I went we hung out and had cocktails all day, had dinner took a nap and hit the casinos at night. I'm looking forward to having that schedule again. It is bliss.

So I am truly stoked that Kehau has offered to get me into cabana shape. If she can't help me then I might as well start eating bacon and mayo sandwiches every day. Because there's no hope.

Instead we're going to embark on some sort of mad journey which involves running, pushing the damn sled and something else. Three times a week. On top of an already hard workout at RFM.

Yes indeedy, it's time to hurt. I'm ready for it though. Vegas is the ultimate motivator. I yelled "Vegas" while doing abs today. It worked.

Having said that, it was still tough today if not totally frickin awful.

Four rounds of 10 thrusters then 20 double unders. For time.

I did the required 95 pounds for men, no more, no less. I tried double unders the first round and then couldn't even lift my legs for the second.

So I switched to single unders, 60 of them. It still sucked because I still had to do the thrusters.

Every one of them was terrible. I managed to crank out a full set of ten on the first set, then had to do five or six then rest for the other three. Bump gave me some advice to set my feet and drive from my heels so I don't wobble all over the place. I think it helped.

Actually what I know helped is the front squat training. I hate that crap but it works. It's like increasing your bench by going heavier on incline bench. Don't ask me to explain it but that works too. Not that I do incline bench anymore, but maybe we should try. Couldn't hurt, right? I'll let Bump take that question. Makes sense to me though, but I'm not the guy with the Crossfit certificate on the wall.

Alright folks so say it with me, VEGAS!!!! Let's do this.

Peace,

Rod