Bump ain't messin around

You know, I got to a point here at RFM where I just figured that any workout is doable so long as you just keep on going. Just don't give up.

But today was NOT one of those days. Good God.

Today we did four rounds of five power cleans, five push presses and five front squats.

The kicker was that every minute we did five burpees too.

The first round sucked. The second round I barely finished in time before having to do the burpees. The third round took a minute for each set of five.

It was impossible to catch up once you got tired. How the hell Ikaika did that WOD in four minutes AND use 115 lbs (I used 95 lbs) is a freaking unreal accomplishment. Actually now that I think about it you almost HAD to do that workout really fast and get it over with before the burpees start sucking the life out of you.

The defining moment of the day was when Ken, who is a pretty good athlete, laid down on the ground and yelled, "I can't feel my legs!"

If anyone knows Ken you know he's not the type of guy to scream. He barely talks. But I think for him it was round two or three when his body came to a grinding halt.

For me it was round three, just as I was about to do the front squats. I just couldn't do it. My legs would not go down for more squats. I quit before I even started the fourth round. It. Was. Not. Happening.

I was impressed with Ken though, because after he screamed he finished all four rounds. Later on he told me that in order to do that he didn't do any more burpees.

Eliminate burpees, what a great idea. Wish I had thought of that. Seriously though, that was a painful lesson in reality. I definitely did not plan that very well.

That's it. I'm going to have to do something drastic. Like . . . ask for more burpees and thrusters after our regular workout.

I know, I should change the name of this blog to "I hate myself" if I'm going to put myself through something like that. It's like Vegas all over again, except instead of extra cardio I'm asking for extra conditioning against pain. It's the only way I'm going to get better at this.

You're thinking, Rod, are you insane? More burpees and thrusters?

Attack your weaknesses right?

How much do you think I'm going to hate myself tomorrow? I'm thinking a lot.

Later gang,

Rod

Another Whole 30 . . . or something like that

Today I start eating properly again. Yesterday was filled with Taco Bell, ice cream and Home Maid bakery goodies in preparation for this day.

But this is not the original Whole 30 paleo diet. I still plan on having a beer. Or two. It is October and there is football, Halloween, birthday parties and various other celebrations and libations to partake of out there.

Speaking of which, I had a good time at the First Friday last week. It was fun and mellow at the same time with my fellow RFMer's. Kehau, Patty and Ikaika and I hung out. We ate and drank and just talked as we walked around Market Street. The subjects were varied and included:

- Why Rainbow Park is the scariest of all parks on Maui
- How people get down and let loose at Miki's house
- Why Friday night's workout really sucked

Yes, I was pleased to note that Ikaika and I both had the same problem with the Seventh Heaven workout, which was 7 overhead squats followed by 7 burpees for 7 rounds.

Did we mention we did back squats prior to the workout? Is anyone surprised? Of course not.

Ikaika's back was hurting so he did front squats instead of overhead squats but still, the result was the same.

We both finished the first round of overhead and did our first rep of burpees and then fell down.

Seriously. My legs just gave out. And when I mean they gave out I mean my leg muscles turned into solid lead.

Again, this was on the first rep of the first round. Only had 48 more reps to go.

I don't know about Ikaika but at the time the only thing going through my mind was, "Really?"

I'm not sure how I made it through that workout. I just gritted my teeth and squatted, then tried to do something that barely resembled a proper burpee.

So you know how a burpee is supposed to look like right? You squat, get into plank position and do a push up, then get back into squat position and jump back up.

Well mine looked like this instead:

- I had a seizure and collapsed
- After drooling on the floor I became intoxicated and attempted to stand
- Once upright (somewhat) I tried to jump over an invisible credit card and failed

Somehow I made it through, showered and came back to Wailuku and met the gang for First Friday. Walking around with my RFMers and shooting the breeze afterwards took my mind off the pain. We drank a little and ate some cheap thai food and I bought the greasiest, grossest, most disgusting bibinka I have ever eaten.

Another reason why I'm going on paleo. Whatever works to motivate you right?

Hope to see you all at the next First Friday. Maybe a Fourth Friday excursion to Paia? Anyone?

Later gang,

Rod

Ikaika gives up and I praise God, running scared and how Kehau improves my ratings

On Tuesday we had a funky workout day. For strength we practiced clean and jerks and then for the WOD we were supposed to do "one C&R the first minute, two C&R's the second minute, three the third minute" and so on and so forth.

Foolishly I fell into the RFM trap and thought, "Eh, that's not bad, right?"

Yeah, I know. When will I learn? Obviously never.

So if you don't know what a clean and jerk is, it's this. You power clean it to your shoulders from the floor then jerk it up above your head. Two step motion but you can generate a lot of power and lift some serious weight with it.

Ikaika and I got up to 115 lbs during practice and when the WOD came around he jumped to 135 lbs. I considered this for like a whole minute then chickened out. Lucky me.

We start the WOD and yeah, it was easy. In the beginning.

Then we hit four C&R's and you start noticing that the minute keeps getting shorter and shorter. By the time we hit seven there was two seconds left before we had to start on round 8.

I was not feeling it but I figured there was no way I could give up if Ikaika was going to do round 8 too AND had 20 pounds more than I did on the bar. But then from behind me I heard him throw down his weight and say the magic words.

"I'm done."

I was freakin estatic. I had picked up my bar in anticipation of the eighth round and threw it down too.

So that was Tuesday.

Then Wednesday we had a really basic WOD. Run 400 meters, do descending reps of push-ups (21, 18, 15, 12, 9, 6, 3) and then the reverse ascending order for sit-ups, then run another 400 meters.

Looking up at the chart I knew that in the past I've done two sets of 20 push-ups without resting so hopefully I could get the 21 and 18 rep sets out of the way fast. I looked around and saw that my only competition was Derek who already told me that he would rather do burpees than push-ups. Crazy talk. Of course I would have to keep my eye out for Kehau too.

Mostly I was worried about the ending 400 meter run. I was imagining that even if I finished the push-ups and sit-ups ahead of Derek, unless I was already coming back for my last 200 meters that bastard would catch up and pass me. It's funny, in a lot of ways Derek and I are opposites of each other when it comes to our Crossfit strengths and weaknesses. Today I was going to have to exploit his weakness and make sure that he didn't have enough time to take advantage of mine.

Anyway, we started the WOD and sure enough, mostly everyone runs off ahead of me. But when I got back to the gym I blazed through the 21 push-ups, did the 3 sit-ups and then blazed through 18 more push-ups.

After that I looked around and was pretty sure I was ahead of everyone. Now I just had to power through and keep up the pace. Having Kehau workout next to me was a good motivator because she kept on blazing through the sit-ups and I knew if I didn't watch out that she'd catch up eventually.

For a while I just shut my eyes and kept going. Those last 21 sit-ups took forever though and I was actually happy to get up and run the 400.

I was first out of the gym but kept on expecting to hear footsteps and feel a "whoosh" of wind and see Derek sprint past. I looked back once but didn't see him. It wasn't until I hit the half way mark and was heading back that I saw him coming up the street and felt the fear.

Because let's face it, he's that fast and I'm that slow.

I didn't have quite enough in me to sprint all out at that point but I think I got up to 70 percent. Even when I was turning the corner to run back into our parking lot I still had to turn around to see if he was behind me.

I hit the gym at 10:20 and sure enough, Derek came sprinting in afterwards not too far behind.

All I gotta say is, "Whew."

And finally . . . I've noticed that nobody posts any comments UNLESS I mention Kehau in my blog.

Or more specifically, unless I somehow tease or mock Kehau in my blog.

C'mon guys, seriously? Are you all just a bunch of high school kids waiting for your friend to tease some poor soul? I'm offended.

Well the joke is on YOU!!!  I'm going to mock everyone else at RMF today. Ha. See how you like it.

Here we go, mostly I'm going to stick to the people I see at 5 and 6. Some personal slap-downs for each one of you:

- Derek: Kehau is stronger than you

- Ikaika: Kehau is stronger than you and has more hair

- Carol: You scare me when you yell

- Rikki: Your damn pink shoes blind me

- Bumper: I still think about your high school mullet

- Craig: Your wife is stronger than you

- Nalani: You are stronger than your husband

- Bob: You're not going to read this so I'm not going to waste my time

- Gary: Ditto

- Kalaheo: You look like you have neck injuries

- Kristi: I still think about your fiance's mullet

- Patty: I thought Alex was your brother.

- Alex: I think about your high school mullet.

- Oran: You're hairy. Don't arrest me.

- Heidi: Um, you're . . tall . . .

- Val: Uhhhh . . .

- Glenn: Um . . . your . . . gray colored Innovates are . . . boring

- Lori: Kehau is . . . actually I'm not sure who's stronger

- Kats: Your name is Kats

See Kehau, I'm not all about teasing you. Now give me the keys so I can open up at 4:30.

Thanks!

Rod

Let me be the keymaster

Because I start work early and because my office is in Wailuku, I usually get to RFM first. Say at around 4:35 p.m. (barring late meetings of course).

That said, it only makes sense that I have a key to the gym. No?

I could open it up early, let everybody change clothes and stretch and be ready for the coach when he or she wants to start the warm-up promptly at 5 p.m.

Plus no outsiders are going to want to come and harass me if I'm at the gym alone. I'm just not harassable. Plus even if they do come by I'll scare them away with the following key phrases:

"Wanna join the gym? No? Then get the hell out."

"Sure you can stay but I'm working out nude. That way I can focus on my technique."

"The gym has helped me become much more stable. I haven't had a psychotropic episode in months."

"Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"


It'll work, trust me.

Make me keymaster!

Rod

Handstand Reality Check

Wow.

You know, you think you're good at something and then . . .

Today's WOD was 21, 15, 9 reps of handstand pushups and kettlebell squats.

I've said it over and over again about how handstand pushups are my thing. But 21 reps of anything is . . . tough.

I hit 15 and then had to do 2 at a time. Then when 15 came up I was doing something like 2 or 1 at a time.

The shoulders were shot. Doing shoulder presses for strength didn't help either but that's how we roll at RFM.

I wasn't even phased by the KB squats. I couldn't even believe it. I felt like my body betrayed me.

Ikaika was like, "See? What did I tell you? HSPU's were killer today."

Yeah, I gotta admit he was right. That might have been one of the longest first sets that I have ever done. Or as Ikaika put it, I couldn't wait to get off that wall tonight.

Just goes to show you, be careful for what you ask for, you might just get it.

Been a helluva week back gang. I can't wait for till my body gets somewhat reconditioned to RFM soon. This week off has been brutal trying to get back.

In the meantime, I've finally gotten those Fight Gone Bad photos off my phone. Here we go . . .

 Ah yes, here we are receiving instructions from our fearless leader . . . 

 I'm sure he's giving out some important instructions, but I was busy taking pics

 Did I mention that Rikki was a ham for the camera? Just in case you didn't notice

Got the stairway shot of Kristi demonstrating wall balls, which were the most hated station

 Here's Val jumping. As you can tell my cell phone camera doesn't do so well with motion

I think this is . . . who the hell is this? 

 Okay someone help me out here, she's just too fast for the camera to capture

 I can only imagine this conversation, "This is going to suck babe, sorry."

"See, told you."

 At this point I finally got smart and waited for them to stop moving before I took a pic. Nice Rikki.

 Nalani push pressing 

 This might be the only real good non-blurry action shot I got

 Did manage to catch Shauna at the top of the box jumps, that was cool. 

 Ah Kats, he loves to smile. Won't be for long though.

 See what I mean?

 See how busy I am taking pictures? Probably why I missed counting some of Kats' reps

Fight Gone Bad. Hate it and love it at the same time. Mostly hate it, especially the wall balls

By the way, props to Carol and Rikki for maintaining their blog. What's up Kehau? You are cardio blog bogging. It's not like pushing a Hyundai you know, you gotta work at it. 

Enjoy the pictures gang, 

Rod

I have met the enemy and his name is "stairs"

So, I was sitting here contemplating what today's blog should be about. We just did a WOD consisting of five rounds of a 400 meter run and 15 overhead squats and I was thinking, "You know that kinda sucked but I don't feel too bad right now."

Then I tried to stand up.

HOLY GOD PLEASE MAKE THE PAIN STOP!!!

The above thought flashed through my mind as my quads seized with stabbing pain. Then I tried walking up the stairs to the kitchen and of course the pain was worse.

And as many of you know, the second and third days are worse after a workout. I'm not looking forward to getting out of bed tomorrow.

Squats suck. That's all I gotta say.

Prior to this I was looking over Ikaika's shoulder in order to read the events of the Maui Strong Man competition. Didn't look too bad at first but then I took a closer look to what was posted online when I got home. The competition includes:

- a 50 meter car push, a Hyundai sedan for women and a Honda Ridgeline for men. On a flat surface? Can do.
- a three inch barbell hold, 225 pounds for men. What's a barbell hold? I looked it up online and you hold a weighted bar. I'm not sure how long I could just hold 225. A minute? Thirty seconds? Maybe I'll try tomorrow.
- a Farmer's Walk consisting of carrying 500 pounds for 50 meters. WTH? Five hundred pounds? What are they supposed be carrying? A Volkswagon Beetle?
- A Sandbag Sprint for 100 meters. Guys carry a really awkward looking 200 pound sandbag (I watched the video online) back and forth. Kinda looked like it sucked.
- A one armed barbell lift of 135 pounds. That looked really tricky. Gonna have try that at the gym for sure.
- The stone lift, consisting of lifting a rock weighing around 40 to 600 pounds. Small kine big range for the weight yeah?

As you can tell, I'm interested. I wonder . . .

Gotta think about this, later gang,

Rod

No workout for one week leaves one weak

A long time ago (as in back in high school) while reading a Muscle and Fitness magazine I read this one line about what it means to skip a workout:

"Think about it like picking up a bag of beans. Missing a workout means you spill all those beans and have to start picking them up all over again."

For years that saying would bounce back and forth in my head over and over again. I thought it was a stupid metaphor to use but it stuck with me for some reason.

Then I started Crossfit and that stupid metaphor made sense. Because now when I miss a RFM workout it feels like I really really effed up somehow. Nevermind that I had to go to Oahu for work. (And no I didn't have time to go to Hard Ass Fitness. And when I say I had no time I meant I was busy sleeping in the hotel room.)

Anyway, today sucked as you can tell. It was my first day back since the Fight Gone Bad workout and eating like crap for two weeks. Here are the highlights:

(1) I did so badly at back squats that Kehau coined a new phrase to describe my lack of intensity which she coined "cardio bogging." She said I had a lot more reps in me even though I was breathing hard and that I should have kept going. Maybe after I get another week under my belt.

(2) Ikaika and I pondered throwing on 115 instead of 105 for the WOD, which was 8 minutes of AMRAP of 4 deadlifts, 3 front squats, 2 push presses and 1 six point burpee. The front squats killed and I thanked the RFM gods above that I kept those extra 10 pounds off.

(3) My hands hurt. My hands never hurt. One of my fingers feels like someone hit it with a hammer. Ow.

On another note, I got Rikki's profile done! I'll send it over to Bump and Kristi and hopefully they can give it the okay and post it. Who wants to be next?

Actually I'll post my own bio here so that you folks can see the format. Plus I think if you see that I'm mostly harmless you'll all start to send me your info, right? Here goes:

Name: Rod “No Squats” Antone

Occupation: I write sometimes

Hails From: Paia, Maui then Boulder, Colorado then Honolulu, Oahu then Yakima, Washington then Albuquerque, New Mexico then Budapest, Hungary (six weeks) then back to sweet old Paia, Maui 20 years later.

Likes To: Spend time with his son Rylen, now aged 6, when he is here visiting from the mainland. Also a Netflix addict and professional Oakland Raiders fan.

Favorite Workout: Anything that does not involve the lower body.

Unfavorite Workout: Thrusters and burpees and wall balls. Oh my.

 Started at RFM: July 2010 then quit for a month then rejoined in September.

Rod started working out at age 15 when he realized that girls liked muscles. At age 25 he realized weights weren’t enough because it didn’t burn off all the beer he was drinking. He ignored the problem until age 38 when he met Bumper at their class reunion and realized it was now or never.

RFM changed my life. It’s changed my body and my mindset. I’ve drank the Kool-aid and I want more.

Seriously though, I’m not sure where I would be if I had not joined. It’s also forced me to  take a look at my diet all of the crap I’ve been digesting over the years. Nowadays I experience bliss just by working out at RFM, taking a shower, then driving back into town with the window down and letting the air cool me off. There’s nothing like it.

Later,

Rod