I can't hear you. Really. I can't

Today I realized something about my body. It's a lot like the a starship.

(If you've never watched a damn episode of Star Wars, Star Trek or any sci-fi movie in space get the hell away from my blog now. Seriously)

Anyway, in these sci-fi movies when the starship or spaceship is damaged the crew stays alive by re-routing power to vital areas. Example:

"Captain, we've been hit! We're down to 40 percent power!"

"Shut down everything but life support and shields! NOW FIRE ALL WEAPONS!!!"

"Uh, you just said shut everything down except for life support and shields. Our weapons are useless."

"Crap."

Whatever. What that needlessly long example shows is that when damaged, you've got to conserve energy.

Case in point. After the WOD people at RFM foolishly try to speak to me. Today Derek said something about my hips and people laughed. I laughed too but just to be friendly, then I walked to my car.

I have no idea what they were saying. I usually don't.

At the end of a tough WOD my body shuts down the language center of my brain and I have trouble hearing and speaking. I'd say out of the five senses that a human being usually possesses I'm down to three by 6:15 p.m.

So sorry guys. I really don't know what you were saying. I'm sure it was important and/or funny. I might have even responded but God knows what I said because I don't.

Especially today. Today was a beater. Wall balls and pullups and a 400 meter run. For four rounds.

My running sucks. I tried to do that special track running technique that MHS star Kikuchi was trying to teach us but I couldn't lift my legs. However by the last lap I had somehow extended my stride which had me going faster (a little) and helped my back but I'm not sure how I did that either.

I will thank Bumper for incorporating more weighted pullups though, because it really made the difference for me today. I cranked out the first round of deadhang pullups and then managed to kip my way past the other three rounds.

Oh yes, and having the 14 pound medicine ball instead of the 20 helped too. Then again maybe it was the front squat training that we've been doing. I fixed my grip and made it more narrow and holy crap it was easier today. I didn't do as much weight as Derek but at least the final 4 reps of 190 didn't destroy me like it usually does.

In fact, the front squat was easier than my push presses earlier in the week. Which is strange. For me at least. I hate squats and love presses. Usually. Today was different.

Strange day today, but mostly in a good way. I do not understand all that Bumper does but his tweaking of the strength workouts seems to be working for me.

Now, on to other matters. This one I will address only once so listen up.

I hate all WOD's. Bear crawls for 100 feet I hated more than usual but believe me, I hate them all.

I hate thrusters and I hate burpees. I hate deadlifts and I hate kettlebells swings and I ESPECIALLY hate when Bump schedules both on the same day, which he has been doing for every single workout for like the last 5 months or something. It's like taking a wrecking ball to my lower back every time.

But I do them, because I know I'll be better for it.

However it is my God given right to hate the WOD. If I can't hate the WOD then damn it, the terrorists have already won. I've got a First Amendment right to hate the WOD. My hate is protected by the U.S. Constitution and the ACLU.

My damn blog is called I Hate Cardio for God's sake. It's my frickin job to hate the WOD.

But that's okay. Ali hated Joe Fraizer and said he was a better champion because he said Joe forced him to go to that next level. I think his exact words were that Joe Fraizer helped him become a better man.

As much as I hate them, the WOD's are helping me become a better 38-year-old man. In fact when I turn 39 in August I expect to be even better than I was when I was 38 and I expect to be in better shape at 40 than the year before and so on and so forth.

And guess what? I'll still hate the WOD's, especially burpees and thrusters and bear-crawls. Expect me to whine and moan. But also expect me to run, jump, push, pull, lift and squat as much as I can.

It's how I thrive. I focus on hate during the WOD. It gets me going. Some examples:

- I hate Derek when he runs
- I hate Lori when she does air squats at light speed
- I hate Ikaika when I see on the board that he grabbed a weight 10 pounds heavier than I would have used
- I hate Luke whenever he does anything

Maybe that technique doesn't work for you, but it does for me. Join the hate brigade and sip on the Haterade.

Adios and stay thirsty my friends.

Rod