What all this training comes down to is . . .

. . . how do I go looking like this guy . . .

To looking more like this guy . . .

Because let's face it, that's why I'm doing all this stuff. I'm shallow, yes I know.

Anyway, please do not take this as a "Rod's not happy with RFM" because I'm totally not. It's just that as Vegas looms near I begin to think less about fitness and more about appearances. Give me a break, I just got divorced.

Also I'd like to go on the record to say I am very happy with what RFM has done for me thus far. I feel better, I believe I look better and I've gotten many compliments. Above all I'm estatic that even though I have half a pectoral my chest strength is as strong as before.

What I'm talking about is slimming down, but it really has nothing to with RFM and more to do with my diet. I like to drink after work and what I have also discovered is that you cannot really modify the Paleo diet (I can't anyway). Just a little bit of gluten messes everything up totally. I've really cut back on the sweets but still ate ice cream twice and had one jelly filled doughnut with the jelly squeezed out of it over the last 7 days. Is that good enough? It would be better if I didn't eat that stuff and I'm trying. I really really am.

Again, this is just me. Some members of my gym are on a modified Paleo and it works, I see their results. They've found something that works and now so do I. Vegas in the summer is a great motivator.

On another note I'd like to report that my back pain has lessened considerably. I'm actually proud to say that the stretching I have done before our workouts has helped along with trying to do very strict deadlifts. Of course I was being so careful going up that I forgot to fully widen my hips at the top as pointed out to me by Bump. So noted and thank you. We'll see if I can remember next time.

My kettlebell swings need some work though. Ah well, one thing at a time.

Also I'm starting to do some core strengthening before the workouts as well. It just makes me feel better. I should probably incorporate some double under practice too because that's starting to piss me off that I don't have those yet. Oh and ring dips. Grrrrr. . . but Ken showed me something with the rubber bands that I might try next time.

Yeah, no funny stuff today gang. Sorry. But that's why we have other blogs now. I have to say with no BS that Rikki is on a roll, her stuff is fresh and entertaining and she has the passion of a new RFMer that you can't replicate. It's like that new car smell, once it's gone it's gone. Kehau is funny too but her blog is more about eggs and chickens. If she starts talking about fighting roosters then I'm in there like swimwear on a fat man. Carrol is great but she still scares me. When I read her blog I feel like she's going to jump from behind my couch and say "MOVE IT DIRTBAG!!!!" (Just had a Police Academy flashback. 80's alert!)

Anyway, aloha and I'll see you at the gym,

Rod

Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto

So if you read the comments section of the last blog you'll find something from a "montanna." It is strangely worded and my Spidey sense is tingling.

I do believe I Hate Cardio has been spammed.

Henceforth I will set up traps and tests that only real people will be able to pass. This will not happen again.

It does however mark a significant milestone for me. I just read my first blog from last September and back then I never thought I'd be attracting spam. Then again from what I've read online it doesn't take much to attract that crap.

Anyway, for you newbies check out my first blog attempt ever. It's entertaining if not a little unfocused.

But like Crossfit, you've to start somewhere right? Here's my beginning:

Like I said, I hate cardio

Especially running. And aerobics. And Tai-bo. And Zumba. Especially Zumba. Looks great when girls do it though.

Anyway, like a lot of guys I lifted weights for years. It was like relaxing and working out at the same time. You sit down and lift. You stand in place and lift. You even get to lie down and lift. It's easy.

Then came my 30's. Then came kids. Then came busy schedules and tight budgets and no money for the gym.

Then one day you look in the mirror and say, "Who the hell is that guy?" with two chins and a belly sticking over your belt. At some point you either grab another beer and say what the hell or start figuring out ways to jump start your metabolism. And the only way to do that is to do some cardio, which, like I said before, I hate.

So I dabbled in P90X, tried one Insanity workout and decided watching a DVD at home wasn't for me. I tried running on the road and swimming at the beach but that was a bust too.

Then fate stepped in and introduced me to two types of workouts which got my cardio going and kept me coming back for more. So this blog is my own personal comparison of both while I go through the workout process.

First there's Crossfit. It's a form of excercise that as far as I can tell, wants to give you functional strength. What does that mean? Well for me it means not having sore legs when helping my friend move boxes upstairs. It also means not getting winded while snowboarding or just playing around in the park with my kids without telling them that daddy needs to rest for a while.

Here on Maui the good folks at Raw Fitness Maui (http://www.rawfitnessmaui.com/) have welcomed me into the fold. They powerlift, do a stupid amount of pull-ups and make me run. That's right, I like running when I workout with them. Why? Because after making me squat and do snatches and thrusters and other painful things I am very happy to run away from their weight room. They hurt me on a daily basis and I am happy about it. It's sick.

Then there's Elite Fitness, (formerly Peak Performance and their website is still called that (http://www.peakperformancemaui.com/), located in the hard to find Waikapu Industrial Center. What they put me through over there I like to call Fight Science Fitness. So far I've hit the heavy bag, practiced my footwork and cranked out push-ups like there's no tomorrow. There are some pretty good mixed martial arts fighters there who have been nice enough to take time out of their workout to show me how they get in shape. Granted, it's not their workout but it's good enough for a scrub like me. Those guys are nuts. The first time I worked out with them I came away with bloody knuckles and a sore back. But I was sweating like crazy so I knew it was a good thing.

So check out this blog if you like reading about how an out-of-shape writer in his late 30's hurt himself today. Along the way I'll introduce you to the coaches and other guys at the gym. And hopefully I get better at this website thing.

Anyway, here we go . . .

100th blog post, 30 days till Vegas and scenes from a Floatila

I had big plans for the 100th I Hate Cardio blog post but seeing as how I have real work to do I'm going to keep it short. Somewhat.

When I first started this blog it was going to serve two purposes, (1) to get my ass in the gym and keep it there because if I blogged about it I'd be held accountable and (2) to give my friends some exposure to help their business.

Well, 100 posts later and I'm not sure if I've accomplished either of those missions. The fact is I go to the gym unless work gets in the way and my blog doesn't have anything to do with it. And although the gym is doing better it's because RFM is a fitness mecca and people recognize quality when they join.
As much as I'd love to say that there's been a 20 percent increase in RFM membership because of the I Hate Cardio blog that's just not true.  But what I have accomplished thus far is (1) provided entertainment for the six or seven people that read this blog and (2) give myself a creative outlet.

These aren't the same goals as when I started, but I've accomplished them nonetheless. But I'm still trying to help Bump and Kristi promote the gym, always. I owe them a lot.

In any case, happy 100th blog! As a reward for my faithful readers I've taken a page out of Kehau's book and included food preperation instructions. Namely for grilling steak, the world's most perfect food.

So here it is:

- Buy tri tip steaks from Costco
- Place in pan
- Pour high grade olive oil
- Rub Hawaiian salt and cracked black pepper onto steaks
- Squeeze juice from four limes onto steaks
- marinate overnight
- grill to perfection
- eat and give thanks

  I'll put my steak up against anyone else's steak. Look at me, I'm 200 pounds. I know what I'm talkin about.

  Also, a friend of mine has said he wants to go to Vegas mid August. I'm down but I've got to get some abs. I'll do whatever it takes. Anything. I've heard that I have to eat nothing but boiled chicken and broccoli. I can do it. I'll do abs everyday. I just don't want to be cruising the Palms pool with this gut. I'm done with the gut. Vegas in the summer and the gut do not mix.

  Finally, I've talked about having a "floatilla" on Maui but some of you don't know what I'm talking about. So here's a KHON story about what happened in Waikiki this year. Click here http://www.khon2.com/mostpopular/story/Hundreds-gather-at-party-spot-in-the-waters-off/2tfZRGTd2k6WhNoSY9i9lw.cspx

  And I leave you with the top ten keywords and phrases that lead people to my blog from search engines:

1. Rod Antone
2. "Rod Antone"
3. cardio hunger
4. cardio pistols
5 clean and jerk pregnant
6. commando squats
7. i hate cardio rod antone
8. Kehau blog fitness on Maui
9. Maui paleo
10. my injury workout site: blogspot.com

Enjoy,

Rod

Blog threats

Today I received a disturbing comment, which went something like this:

"UPDATE YOUR BLOG,  WTF???"

I felt somewhat violated and afraid and almost went to the Maui Police Department to flie a temporary restraining order. Instead I will keep blogging regularly and pray that this said person can be captured by the proper authorities.

I only hope that she, I mean, this person will not become violent. For example she, I mean this person could force me to arm wrestle in a bar. Or they could push a car over me. Maybe even tell their friends to stomp on my foot with her snatch foot stomps.

Don't worry folks, I don't get intimidated easy. Unless I'm at War Memorial Gym after a MMA fight and am outnumbered 200 to one. But I didn't go, so I'm safe. For tonight at least.

Feeling confused yet? That's okay, lets talk about the workout.

Today we did weighted pullups again, this time Ken the human flea was working out with me. He is named as such because like a flea he can jump 40 times higher than himself. It's true, look it up.

Luckily I did not have to jump with him, instead we put weights around our waists and pulled upwards. Then we did core strengthening movements which actually felt pretty good. I think I might even include them with my daily pre warmup stretches.

Then we did five rounds of :30 of dips, :30 of air squats and :30 of situps. I thought I didn't do too badly, 221 for the final tally. And that was with ring dips. Of course everyone else did more. I should have goen a bit harder on the air squats for the first two rounds.

I don't know, maybe for just one workout I have to NOT think about the sets or rounds coming later. Maybe I shouldn't prepare for what's coming next and just go all out every time.

I would do that, except that sounds like it would suck.

I tell you what, if anyone would like to do a no holds barred, stupid strategy WOD with me one day at RFM please let me know. I think I'll need a partner in this idiocy.

Have a happy Fourth gang. And don't be intimidated by those that are bigger and stronger than you.

Late,

Rod

Cheating, eating and big bastards

First off I've got some other nonRFM photos that I'd like to share, stuff that I looked up when I started this other blog of mine called the Crossfit Alliance. The idea was to have a community website for all Crossfit Affiliates that served a different purpose than http://www.crossfit.com/. It was more to share the funny stories and inspirational stories and all that. Kinda fell to the wayside. Anyway I looked up some motivational pics to decorate my other site with and here they are in no particular order. (This was back in December by the way, before I started working 24/7.)

Okay this one isn't so much inspirational as I like it because my arms look HUGE. Like 24-inch eat your vitamins, say your prayers and let HULKAMANIA run wild over YOU kinda huge. Optical illusion I know.

And this one I like because that's a lot of weight and he looks crazy. That's the effort I want to put in when I lift and run and jump and do all the crazy RFM crap that we do. Anyway, those be my images that I had set aside for the Crossfit Alliance. Maybe I'll start it up again but this website and my job are plenty right now.

Ok, so let's talk cheating. People have been talking about me cheating in the gym and various blogs because I said I cheated the last time. But I don't do it all the time, especially not upper body workouts. Squats kill me though so if you're going to help me not cheat watch me anytime I drop my ass down to the floor. "I just cannt doo it Capt'n, I donnat have the pooowweeerrrrrr . . . ." (Three cheers if you get that Star Trek reference because it goes through my mind when I fail at the gym.)

Also, Rikki is stepping up some GAME. She's already got 15 pictures per blog post and writes pages and pages of content. I feel like I'm trying to compete against a heroin addict looking for smack. You just can't stop her. Good job Rickster, keep it up.

Also, Tehau the Mentalnesian has gained more commenters than I. It's like reading the old Star Bulletin online comment page. They're longer than the story itself. Wow, I know she's popular and strong and intimidating but where's the love for I Hate Cardio? Where are my comments? Although I must admit, who can resist a good egg-pun? For more eggsamples check out an ancient Star Bulletin story by clicking this link here: http://archives.starbulletin.com/2001/06/12/news/story2.html

Okay, gotta get ready for work. Adios and see you at the gym. Today's workout should be fine. Those airsquats are going to suck though. And this brings up a good point. Should I take a step back and and do bar dips or continue to struggle through ring dips? Derek brought up a good point about technique and I'm wondering if I should scale back on certain things.

Finally, eating. I'm going back to Paleo (sans beer and liquor) and reading the Whole 30 blog every day for inspiration. The only line that matters is "all you're doing is making good food choices, every day."

That's really what it boils down to. Don't REACT to your hunger, take ACTION. Make the choice and walk away to find something healthy. We aren't starving children in Africa and we won't die because we have to wait a couple of hours to go to Whole Foods. So man up. (I'm talking to myself right now but apply it to you if you want).

Late,

Rod

Crossfit Cheater, That's Me

First off I'd like to apologize to Ikaika for calling him a cheater. He's the real deal.

I'm the cheater.

Yesterday as we did our WOD I totally did not do 10 reps for all four rounds. I know I did 10 for the first round, then 8 for the second, six for the third and 8 again for the last round.

I just couldn't do it. By all rights my pushup count should have been zilch.

Today we are supposed to run 400 meters then do 50 KB swings then run another 400 meters.

Today I will not sacrifice weight for reps.

Although I will likely pick up the 53 lbs kettlebell, just to try it out. If  I can't do it I'll switch to the 44 pound kettlebell.

I promise. No more cheating. Besides, I'm only cheating myself.

Sunday blogging, Friday drinking and a buncha old pictures

It's Sunday and there's no workout but I've got to blog.

For one thing I've got way too many pictures on my home computer that I need to finally make public. Nothing embarrassing just stuff that I've had for a while. Old stuff from the other gym, etc.

Plus I've been trying to incorporate more than two pictures as part of the overall look of my website but it ain't happenen. Not that I know what I'm doing but I think I'll have to change the overall design and that will just eff things up. Took me 20 minutes just to figure out how to change the color of the "I Hate Cardio" title of the blog. Sigh.

So let's show some pictures. Funny comments may or may not follow:

Hey look, it's Bob. Bob trains like a madman and we all like to give him a hard time but it's sort of like kicking puppies because he just smiles and takes it. So I'll just say that this pic is a good exmpale of the kind of work he puts into the gym. Hundred percent sweat and no B.S.

This one I want to apologize ahead of time if I'm wrong but is that Carol? Because if it is she sure as hell doesn't look like that anymore. If it's not please feel free to come up and slap me in the face but if that IS Carol then she is literally a fraction of the woman she used to be. Unreal kine work ethic on her too and it's obviously showing. (Please I hope I'm not wrong.)

 Oh look, it's a fat guy with pale white legs stretching his fat ass on the floor of the gym. I hate this pic.

Whether you call her Kehau, Tehau or whatever she's one strong wahine. This must have been a whlie back because I can see her husband Frank working out in the background. For the newbie Frank is too far advanced in his fitness to work out with mere mortals. I hear nowadays he does a Mr. Incredible workout benching trains and stuff. And if you haven't seen the Incredibles go rent it just so you get that reference.

One of Bump's more mental workouts. Actually the worst part about this (for me) was just scratching my knees on the asphalt. What? I dislike pain. I hate lunges too but whatever.

The end. Nuff said.

Actually another reason I posted these pics is because for the first time I can actually see what some of these pics are. For the longest time they were unidentifiable until someone taught me I can type in ".jpg" after the image title and it'll show up. Yes indeedy, he can be taught some new tricks.

And while I'm at it I might as well post some new pics. Here's the latest from the RFM karaoke night out at Ohana's on Lower Main.

I know this is a tiny image but I'd like to add some captions. Ever make up captions for a picture? I'll give you some examples of why it's fun:

Val: "Look at my calf muscle biotch!"

Patti: "Hey Rikki, do you read Korean?"

Rikki: "Hey Patti, shut up and look cute, like I'm doing."

See? Fun for the whole family. Let's try another one.

Why don't I let you folks try some. I'll be watching for them in the comments section of this blog post. Enjoy.

See ya Monday,

Rod